Whitlow's Place

2009-07-08T19:05:00.001-06:00

So, here I am… the long silence finally broken….

I am actually kind of amazed at how long it has been since I last posted. But there has been a chaos of things that have kept me away (no excuse really, I know). There may not be any of you left that even care to read this blog anymore after my long silence. But I shall write away regardless.

So a lot of crazy things have gone down in the last 5 months. It’s been pretty intense actually. Among a few, were weddings, funerals, quitting my job, getting a new job, new relationships formed, old ones dissolved, and the grand finale of them all … turning THIRTY!

I could write a novel on all the things that have happened in the last 5 months, but I don’t feel like it and you would get bored in reading it. So, I am going to be a little creative and leave you with a random list of the things my life has been about in the last few months. It should prove to be interesting. If care enough to have a question, ask. Otherwise, I’ll leave it to your imagination. It has been anything but boring and it’s cathartic to get it splayed upon the page….

It’s been about…

· Battle

· Standing up despite being beaten bloody

· Laughter for no reason

· About walking into a new decade and trying to let go of the fear

· Hard conversations and good friends who aren’t afraid to tell you the truth

· Learning and relearning the same things again

· Starting over

· Facing the new without the things I held on to or the people who defined me for so long

· Aunt Chelsey dates with twirling and make believe

· Grief, sorrow, and anger

· Grace

· Weekends hiding in my apartment surrounded by photographs and old journals

· Learning who I am apart from and because of my past

· Facing the hard things

· Good friends carrying the load with me for awhile over hot tamales, popcorn, and margaritas

· Having the courage to let the walls crumble and lean on others

· Learning what it means to really pray your guts out when a good friend’s son is taken from them far too soon and knowing there is absolutely nothing you can say

· Feeling the pain of losing your mom all over again when you’re watching your best friend experience the same thing

· A ripping apart and a putting back together

· The desert and understanding the beauty of gratitude for the manna

· Choosing to see the light

· Standing up for the truth despite the cost and finding the courage that was required

· Watching evil men prevail…for now

· The understanding that in order to be light and peace to others you must first experience the darkness and survive the storm

· Just being outside

· Flirting with the edge but finally falling in love with the hand that holds you back

· Forgiveness

· Seeing the beauty in a person when for so long all you saw was pain in the mention of their name

· The feeling coming back after a long winter

· Seeing all the broken pieces and no longer trying to make them fit, but instead create an entirely new mosaic

· The reflection of those broken pieces and discovering the truth behind them

· Walking out a new existence

· Taking those first steps towards flight without the shackles

· Beautiful redemption

Ok, so that was a little longer than I expected. But there it is.

thankful

2009-02-07T17:50:00.002-06:00

I am reminded, even in the bloodiest of battles, that there are blessings abundant. In light of my current bloody battle, I was reflecting this morning while on a walk through the park on my many blessings, my roses amidst the thorns if you will. So, to follow the current theme of 25 things, here are 25 things I am thankful for …

The ability to walk and run and jump and move with very little pain (Although I’ve noticed a bit more pain the closer I get to 30). I watched my mother for so long not be able to do those things, that I am mindful of the incredible blessing of simple movement.

My parents. Despite their own pain and dysfunction and a bit of a “non-traditional” upbringing, they have taught me more about life and love and sacrifice than I think even they realize and loved me immensely in their own broken ways.

My family. We are large, dysfunctional, wonderful, messy, and hilarious but despite it all we are an incredible legacy of love and so many of the blows in my life have been softened by their love for me.

My ability to provide for myself. Though I don’t always like my job, I am thankful for it and the ability to put food on my table and a roof over my head and to be able to drive around in and pay for my lovely car and various other little luxuries. The LORD is so good to me.

I am thankful for the steaming cup of Tummy Mint tea that I am enjoying while writing this list and its ability to settle my stomach. Celestial Seasonings are geniuses!

I am thankful for my little apartment. Is small and filled with old hand me downs and garage sale treasures and nothing really matches, but I love it! It is safe, clean, cozy and it is home. A great reflection of myself. I thank the LORD for it often.

I am thankful for my incredible friends, both young and old(er). I am continually amazed at who the Father has placed in my path. Many have weathered some pretty horrendous storms with me and are surprisingly still hanging out by my side, ready to walk into the next battle with me (some of whom sent me to Ireland). I don’t deserve any of them. They are such beautiful reflections of his redemption. I just love them to pieces!!

I am thankful for hot showers. I don’t know why, but everytime I take a shower lately I thank the LORD for them. There is just nothing like a nice hot shower!!

I am thankful for the trials I have experienced in life. They have taught me so many incredible truths!

I am thankful for chocolate! Need I say more …

I am thankful the LORD created the cow. There are just so many tasty treats that come from the cow – steak, cheese, milk, hamburgers …

I am thankful the LORD never leaves me as he finds me.

I am thankful for colors. Seriously how sad would a world be in only black and white.

I am thankful for cinnamon, both the smell and taste of it. It is one of my favorite things of late.

I am thankful for the mountains. They speak to me in a way little else can.

I am thankful for the cheerful yellow daisies I am looking at across the room and the sweet friends that sent them to comfort me on a hard day.

I am thankful for my country, even when I don’t agree with the government or its leaders all the time, I am thankful for my freedom to live, breathe and worship the way I choose.

I am thankful for the various copies of the Scriptures I have. I never want to take that for granted.

I am thankful for books and the ability to read. I am such a book nerd.

I am thankful for music; music on my ipod, the radio, on the tv, the composers who have created such incredible masterpieces and even the ability to make my own music through the voice the Father gave me There is nothing that can reach the heart of who I am faster than good music.

I am thankful the LORD has given me a sharp mind. (sharp enough to know that it came solely from him and has nothing to do with my own strivings. )

I am thankful for laughter, especially the ability to find it in difficult situations and to be able to laugh at myself often.

I am thankful for my washer and dryer. After years of laundromats and hauling loads to my grandparent’s house, I am thankful to be able to do laundry whenever I darn well choose (even if it is only a half-loader). (Although I think my sweet, sentimental Granddaddy would still like me to come over and do my laundry there sometimes.)

I am thankful the LORD created the llama, for no other reason than they bring a smile to my face. They are such funny little creatures.

And lastly, I am thankful for the LORD’s grace, mercy and redemption through which He is daily refining me. That the Creator of the Universe actually picked me to love, baffles me daily. Where would I be in any trial or battle without that hope or that strong arm to cling to?

One Year

2009-01-28T11:20:00.005-06:00

25 things about my mom and I …

I am going to totally rip off the whole 25 random things again, even though I did it in my last post. This time I am going to do it a little differently. . .

Today is the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing. On this date in 2008, my world was turned upside down and subsequently this has been one hell of a year. Even when you know death is coming, you’re never quite prepared for it. I have struggled a lot this year, both personally and professionally, but through it all I have seen the hand of the Father graciously moving and covering this child, even in the midst of her anger and heartbreak. I have been ripped apart, put back together, and ripped apart again too many times to count this year. And I can now see that it was a ripping that has proven to make me stronger, wiser, and just a little bit better human (I still have a long way to go …).

Today is a day of sadness, yes. The last 22 years of my mom’s life was brutal, painful and full of anger and strife. But the LORD was never absent. Instead, there was a strange, painful work he was doing in her life and in mine. We are inextricably tied by the same circumstance. So I sit here today, one year away from the most brutal day I’ve experienced to date and I can smile. The LORD has been gracious to remind of the good things despite the pain. And I can sit here and celebrate who Mary Sue Whitlow was and what I learned from her. So here are my 25 random things about my mom and I in celebration of a life that produced my own …

1. I have her green eyes and several of her facial expressions. I never realized that until I recently have gone back to look at pictures of her and pictures of me now. She was so beautiful and I am glad to have pieces of her in my reflection.

2.I have her killer sense of humor. She was cracking jokes til the very end. It’s what she did to survive and it is embedded into my survival kit as well.

3.I am her creative protégé. She was so creative before the MS, always sewing something, decorating a room, being musical. I am thankful for pictures, other’s memories, and random memorabilia that I have access to, because I don’t remember those years so much and it is cool to think that she passed that down to me(except for the sewing thing, I hate sewing).

4.I have her superb fashion sense. She could always put together an outfit that just seemed to work for her, even if it wasn’t typical. I am glad to have that, because I am anything but typical.

5. She loved music – all kinds and even had an appreciation for the kinds she didn’t care for. That was what I loved so much about my parents together was their intense love for good music. That has bled into me and is what drives such a big part of me today.

6.She loved yellow roses and they are becoming my favorite as well.

7.She loved science fiction movies, especially about vampires (my name actually came from a street sign in a vampire movie she watched when she was in high school). And as I mentioned in my last 25 random things post, I secretly watch those same movies with the same unbelievable and ridiculous fascination.

8.She loved making things for other people – clothes, crafts, snacks, etc… and I love doing the same things. I would rather make someone something than purchase something at the store. She was the same way, always hand-making crafts for my elementary school parties or making some friend a costume, or baking up tasty treats.

9.She had quite the imagination and fortunately and unfortunately I have the same problem.

10.She loved Christmas, especially Christmas carols. There is just something magical about that time of year with the music and the lights. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that her birthday is in December, I don’t know. But she always made it fun, even when she was sick. We used to go carol for her every year at the nursing home. Silent Night will always be our song.

11.She was proud of me. I didn’t always see it, especially when I was consumed by the pain she was causing or the pain she was enduring. But she was my biggest fan. My favorite proud mamma moment happened just a couple of years ago. I was singing the national anthem at a hockey game, which I did often when I was working for the Gorillas. She had been begging me for months to take her to one so she could hear me sing and see what I did at the games. But in her physical state, it was just too hard. My dad was kind enough to take a radio up to the nursing home one night and tune into the game at the beginning so she could hear me belt out the anthem. After I sang, my dad told me, she just started crying and said – “that’s our girl.”

12.She had a voracious appetite for junk food, but hated the healthy stuff. I unfortunately inherited her taste buds, but I am learning to get over it because I did not receive her metabolism. ( Although I still prefer the taste of the junk).

13.She had an infectious sense about her, even when you really kind of wanted to hate her guts, there was a light about her that you just couldn’t forget about.

14.She loved history. I still remember when I was very little watching a documentary on the Titanic when they discovered it. She was obsessed with the information and couldn’t get enough of it. We went to the library got books on it, bought a National Geographic and even cut out newspaper clippings on it, and learned about it together. Both of my parents instilled in me a love for the past and I would still rather watch the History or Discovery Channel than anything else.

15.She enjoyed to outdoors. Before she got sick, we would often go camping or fishing or go ride horses with her family in Oklahoma and she was always encouraging me to be outside, as long as I had sunscreen on, of course.

16.She loved animals, especially dogs. She was passionate about them and even showed a couple of Afghan hounds when she was younger. We had dogs most of my growing up years and she just had a way with them. I am thankful she passed that on to me.

17.She taught me tenacity. Her battle was a long, arduous one and she should have died several times. But there was always something that kept her going. She was a fighter, even when all odds were stacked against her. She would fight just to spite your doubt. It was an uncanny thing to witness. But I must admit, her tenacity is rampant throughout me. It’s that never give up, never surrender attitude that surprisingly endeared her to so many, even while frustrating the fire out them at the same time.

18.She taught me compassion in the latter years. Jesus didn’t sit with the healthy, he came for the sick and she was my constant lesson in “What would Jesus do?” Even though, more often than not, I chose the opposite. There came a point in the last two or three years of her life, that all the pain of my childhood became inconsequential and I began to see my mom through His eyes. I have written about compassion before and how there is a dark side to it, when you feel powerless to do anything. There is a beautiful lesson in that kind of powerlessness and I began to understand my LORD just a little more and through it fell in love with Him in a deeper way and learned how to love my mother in a deeper way as well.

19.She was my lesson in endurance. I can’t expound much on this one except that 22 years is a long time to fight such an intense battle.

20.She taught me forgiveness. The relationship with a mother and daughter is a tricky, contrary thing, even in the best of relationships. We were terrible to each other often, but could always say I love you at the end of the day. She was a beautiful picture of redemption.

21.She taught me strength and surrender. I think it must have come from the grace of God and the tenacious spirit He designed her with.

22.She taught me hope. She was always hopeful for this or that. It never seemed to dull, even at the end. Even in her defeated and weakest moments, the glimmer still remained. She just wouldn’t allow herself to believe the worst when it came right down to it.

23.She taught me patience. We’ll just leave this one at that.

24.Ultimately, she drove me to the LORD. Even though, I don’t think she ever realized the gravity of that fact. As I stated before, she was my constant lesson. Through my anger, hurt, helplessness, tenacity, everything, it all led me to Him. Our story together was about His love and redemption, His pursuit of His children even in the darkest of nights, it was about His faithfulness in our disobedience, His mercy in our repentance, and His grace throughout it all. Through a bloody 22 year battle He won both of us, despite our stubborn and rebellious spirits, He captured us both. Praise His name!

25.She loved me in her own broken way. I see that vividly now.

It's been awhile so here are 25 random things...

2009-01-23T11:40:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I know it has been terribly too long since my last post and I do actually have tons of pictures to share from my Christmas in Colorado, New Year's, and a recent trip to Austin. But I am lazy, that's just the plain fact and I promise I will update soon. So to appease, who ever is crazy enough to read my silly blog, here are 25 random things about myself that you may not have known (and yes I totally stole the idea from Facebook).

Cheers!

1. I love the outdoors, seriously more than a girl really should and if I don’t get enough of them – I get a little nutty.

2. Sometimes on Saturdays, I will stay home all day and watch cheesy Sci-Fi Channel movies about giant, destructive genetically altered creatures and the like, that are full of bad acting, the whole time thinking – “Why on earth am I watching this? It’s so predictable!”

3.I still have one of my baby teeth.

4.One of my favorite things is to go camping and wake up really early and just lie there in my toasty sleeping bag and listen to the morning. It has a distinct smell and sound that I just love!

5. My KLLP Personality Type is 86% Contemplator, which means I live in my head way too much.

6. Even though most people think that I am an outgoing people person, I am actually quite shy and would be perfectly content living alone ( or with a really good looking mountain man) in a cabin in the mountains or on the coast of Ireland, only surfacing for social interaction a few times a year.

7. I am petrified of heights, but want to go hang-gliding or skydiving so badly!

8. Outer space scares the crap out of me, so much so that I will not watch movies or shows about it. It is just too big!

9. I want to swim with sharks.

10. I still bawl every time I watch Braveheart or The Return to Snowy River and I mean uncontrollable weeping. It’s not like I don’t know what happens, but it gets me every time.

11. I own more action-adventure and documentary movies than I do romantic comedies or chick flicks and would rather watch the History Channel or Discovery Channel than anything else.

12. I would like to go to base camp at Mt. Everest, but not actually climb it. Those people are crazy!

13. I am just now learning how to have confidence in myself and feeling comfortable in my own skin. Friends have been telling me this stuff for years, I didn’t believe them until now.

14. I love creating new recipes and dishes and secretly wish I could have a cooking show on the Food Network.

15. Despite my tendency to be a hermit, I do love to entertain and cook big meals for people on occasion.

16.I have dreams that will last several weeks and will build on themselves like a movie is being written in my sleep. They have proven to be quite entertaining for some of my friends.

17. When I flew into Dublin last year, I looked out the window and started crying. It was a magical moment. It was like a kid on Christmas that got exactly what they’d always dreamed about.

18. I smoke cigars.

19. My favorite thing to sing in the shower at the top of my lungs is Phantom of the Opera.

20. Unlike many people I know, I am super excited about turning 30 in a little less than a month and a half. I am going to rock the 30’s!!

21. When I was little I used to dress up in costumes on Thanksgiving and watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and pretend I was on one of the floats. I would even go out in public in my chosen themed outfit. I am sure my parents were mortified.

22. My dad took me to a Poison concert when I was in the 3rd grade – talk about a non-traditional upbringing.

23. I miss my mom.

24. I hate it when people aren’t straight shooters. I’m not a game player and I hate fakeness. I can see through the crap pretty quickly and cannot be easily manipulated.

25.I have recently learned about myself that I will fight for the Truth, even to the detriment of my own well-being, especially if I see people I love being slaughtered.

The Blessing of Cupcakes

2008-12-18T15:08:00.004-06:00

I was reminded last night how much fun the simple and silly things in life are. To simply let the stresses of the day go by doing something fun and silly. Last night I did just that – an good friend & I made Christmas cupcakes. We listened to Christmas tunes, iced mint chocolate cupcakes, and laughed hysterically when part of the tub of icing splattered on the kitchen floor. And for a moment my stressful reality melted away and there was just joy.

Here’s to blessings of good friends, good music, and Christmas cupcakes . . .

Ashlan being an arteest

Sprinkles and Icing Galore

mmmmm ... delicous Christmas creations

Coldplay

2008-11-24T14:10:00.003-06:00

So I went to the Coldplay concert this last Friday in Denver with my good friend Mary Margaret. And to be honest, there really are no words. I jokingly said before the concert that it was going to change my life... and folks it kind of did. The whole weekend was a catalyst of sorts. Good thinking time, great music, and I got to hang with family. So instead of writing a whole bunch, here are a few pics from our Coldplay adventure!!!! Viva La Vida!!!!!!!!!!

Violet Hill

The release of thousands of butterflies during Lovers in Japan

I will try to post a video later, if I can get it to work...

it

2008-11-19T16:51:00.001-06:00

It’s like walking into a room full of strangers, sitting down in the middle, and giving up… screaming to whoever will listen –“Ok, fine… you do it!”

It’s like having the ground ripped out from under you when you’re running full force ahead.

It’s like trying to walk around with a gaping hole in the middle of you.

It’s like trying to stay standing in the middle of a field while being beat by a West Texas wind.

It’s like not being able to find breath, or feel your feet beneath you touching ground, or see colors like you always imagined them before.

It’s like dawn taunting you with its golden hope.

It’s like your hand freezing to the sword.

It’s like moving in slow motion when you really need to get there.

It’s like watching your own heart stop beating.

It’s like a crumbling.

It’s like a falling.

It’s like the ache of silence when you need some sign of life.

It’s like just laying down in the middle of snow.

It’s like a crushing that almost doesn’t stop.

It’s like being too exhausted to even move.

… and yet there is a beauty here,
a timing necessary for healing,
a darkness dependent on the Light consuming…

It is “Be still and know that I am God …”

Real Hope

2008-11-05T09:17:00.004-06:00

Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm."
Therefore Pilate said to Him, "So You are a king?"
Jesus answered, "You say correctly that I am a king. For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice."
John 18:36-37

Election Day 2008

2008-11-04T11:14:00.007-06:00

There is just a charged feeling in the air today.

Election Day.

And what a moment in history this election will be.

Regardless of which candidate gets elected, this campaigning season is one of firsts. It is exciting to be alive at this time in history, to have the opportunity to be involved in this process. I have really gotten caught up in the excitement of it. I mean, it is our country. If we don't stand up and fight for it, get out and vote, and make our voices heard - we really have no right to complain when things don't go our way.

I have many friends voting for McCain-Palin, some for Obama, and few that are still undecided and disillusioned by this whole process. I have had some pretty intense conversations with a few, some enlightening conversations with some, and alot of poking fun with good friends that don't share my particular political point of view.(Politics just bring out the best in people, don't they?) But the thing I have learned in all of it, is the value of an open mind and a listening ear and most importantly, whatever you're choice you must get out and VOTE!

I am not easily swayed from my decisions. I've made my choice and I'm sticking with it. I've researched, prayed, and made a choice. But I must say I have learned much from those that do not share my opinion. There is a friend of mine that I love having conversations with. We'll call him "M". M and I don't always share the same opinions, but we listen to each other, enlighten one another, and can share a debate of ideas without cutting each others heads off. Plus, there is a lot of poking fun at each other and the sharing of many a you tube video. We can still sit down at the end of the day, work together and try to make a difference in our world. Regardless of who takes office in January 2009 - that needs to happen more often and I'm sure most will agree.

I voted for John McCain because I think he's the better man. I'm making my voice heard, taking advantage of my right as an American citizen. But I can still sit down and have a chat with my Obama supporting friends and hope that together we can CHANGE our world.

So my whole point of this little rant is have a conversation, PRAY, make a choice, get out and VOTE today, do your part in changing the world, and fight for what you believe in (or else shut up and don't complain).

...And may the best man win!!!

Here is a little photographic snack of my friend Shelli Jarvis and I in all our Election Day fervor!!

Michael & Natalie

2008-10-21T14:37:00.008-06:00

Well this weekend I headed across a couple of states with my Uncle Randy, my Grandparents, and cousin Adam for my cousin Michael's wedding in Russelville, AR. It was a beautiful wedding and it was so good to see family!

I also got indulge in one of my favorite past times, that I don't get to indulge in very often - Camping!! My uncle, cousin, and I camped out in a tent by the shores of Lake Dardanelle. It was beautiful and a much needed dose of nature for me!

I have included some pics from the rehearsal, wedding, and camping extravaganza!

Congrats to Natalie and Michael!!

Adam, Michael, and I - The Red Heads of the Family (although I'm not very red headed right now)

Adam and Grandmother at the Rehearsal Dinner

Granddaddy and his baby sister - my Aunt Thelma

Lake Dardanelle

The Marina at the Lake

I was playing around with my camera on these next couple of pics. I love the Fall!!

Our little home for the weekend - Yea for Camping!!

For all my friends who like to call me a tree-hugger!

A little visitor to our tent - they were everywhere!

A beautiful Fall backdrop for the wedding

Aren't my Grandparents so cute?!

Uncle Lindsey and Aunt Thelma - still holding hands after all these years!

Cheers!

LIGHT

2008-10-02T15:23:00.003-06:00

My quest of late has been Light. More specifically, what does it look like to be Light? To allow the LORD to transform my life into a beacon, a harbor? What does it look like to take a grieving, broken, and bleeding daughter and transform her into a warrior who is graceful, strong, giving – a wounded healer to other broken souls? In and through my grief, I have come to see a divine purpose in my pain that asks this question - How do I live a life that glorifies Him, that allows Him to be seen through me and despite of me, that allows Him to use me as a vessel of service in His kingdom? ...I must be open. I must be vulnerable to His refinement. I must let go and grab hold of. I must weep and I must laugh. I must allow a purging of the pain.

To see both the blessings and horror of life and still choose to see the Light instead of being consumed by the darkness we all face is the path I desire. Yet I have learned that to truly appreciate the Light, darkness is a necessary teacher. As creatures in a fallen world, sinful and unworthy, we are faced with this paradox of Light vs. Dark; Flesh vs. Spirit; Good vs. Evil … this continuous transformation from one to the other and vice versa. But, we each must figure out what that looks like for ourselves.

As I was looking through an old journal last night, I ran across a quote I had copied in its pages. It has stuck with me all day and seems very fitting in my current search for what Light looks like in my life and the value of what pain can do in our lives if we allow the LORD to use it. I wanted to share it and get you guys’ thoughts.

Let me know what you think …

“How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one’s culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.”
Barry Lopez

I do not always understand the way the Father works, but when I come out on the other side I am always amazed. Difficult things are often necessary in growing us. After all, a pearl is produced from an irritation, a diamond from intense pressure, a harvest from great toil... So through the darkness we learn how to be Light.

2008-09-28T13:33:00.004-06:00

So, it's election time once again and this particular election season has seemed to last for stinkin ever!! I have been mostly a backseat observer listening to all candidates and figuring out exactly who I can get on board with the most.(Politicians as a general rule make me want to vomit). I've watched the liberally biased news, read the articles trenched in mud, and weighed everyone's words. At one time I considered myself a die hard Republican (after all I am a pro-life, gun-owning Texan). But now I consider myself a Conservative Moderate and I don't think I am alone in this election. It seems like, now, more than ever Americans are just ready for some solutions and this seems to be the election that will trully "change" things or at least that's what they say.

I have only, in the last couple of months, really gotten into it the election, going from back seat observer to making my choice and choosing to do my part as a citizen of the USA(Blast those convictions that actually get you off your a** and make you do something). And I have found myself to be surprisingly passionate, and to be honest a little obsessed, after sitting in the backseat for so long. I find myself, listening to Talk Radio, scanning the Fox News, Google News, New York Times and the Drudge Report websites multiple times a day and the first thing that comes on my tv when I get home is Glenn Beck and then Fox News (occasionally I'll peek at CNN). I have even resorted to shameless plugs by displaying my candidate choice's sign in my apartment window, stickers on my car, and a brand new travel mug to contain my daily java fix. I find myself wondering why in the world I never voted in the last 3 elections (I know, I confess I'm a horrible American). I guess I am making up for lost time. But this is overwhelmingly exciting!!!

Is either candidate the right choice? I guess we'll see. But I know that if I don't research, listen carefully, pray about, make a choice and then do what I can, then I don't really have a right to complain when it all goes down the crapper or vice versa claim the blessing if things go well.

So whoever your candidate is MCCAIN or Obama - pray about, listen with discernment and conviction, make your choice, and then claim your right as an American and VOTE! It's the only way anything is going to "Change".

P.S. If you are looking for a fun blog to read about behind the scenes campaigning written by someone in their twenties check out Meghan McCain's blog. Even if you're not pro-McCain it's cool to see behind the scenes and hear a young person's point of view. Plus she throws in some killer music suggestions.

anmchara reunion 2008

2008-09-03T12:24:00.004-06:00

Labor Day has come and gone again, ushering in Fall with all its loveliness!

Another treat that Labor Day brings is my anmchara reunion with Jen and Lauren, two of my best friends from college. I believe this is our 6th or 7th year to do this and it just keeps getting better. They were just what I needed this weekend!!

Here are a few pics from our fabulous adventures …

Four Eyes

2008-08-27T16:53:00.003-06:00

Well it is official ... I have entered the world of the visually impaired. Staring at a computer screen 40+ hours a week has done me in and I now have to wear reading glasses. I am telling you, 30 is just looming over me laughing - saying "just you wait". Here are some bespeckled pics for your amusement!

Don't I look so sophisticated?

Magenta!!!

2008-08-06T20:32:00.004-06:00

This is what happens when I get bored and feel like rebelling a little ...

Good thing I work at church that is ok with tattoos and odd hair colors!!

Mamma

2008-07-28T12:32:00.003-06:00

It’s been 6 months today since my mom passed away. I miss her more than I can say. I wouldn’t wish her back for anything, because I know she is far better off where she is, with the LORD and out of pain. But I miss her. In some ways, the grief is just now hitting me. And let me tell you it can blindside you at times. There is, and I believe always will be, a hole left in her passing and it has not grown smaller with time, as some told me it would. It simply remains. But the LORD is faithful and I am constantly recognizing the blessings rising from the ashes of our battle.

As I finally sorted through her belongings last weekend, that had been sitting in my dining room since her passing, I remembered a very painful notion. All I have left, physically of my mamma, has been packed away in a single box of random pictures, clothing and knick knacks. That is all I have left to pass on to my family one day. As I packed away that simple box with tears streaming down my face, the LORD gently reminded me, that I carry more than that of her with me.

There are subtle things I am recognizing about my self in the last few months that have my mom written all over it. I see old pictures of her and see my green eyes staring back at me. I get to creating or designing something and remember her style. When I’m singing in my car or in the shower, I can hear the sounds of her piano playing accompanying my song. When I crack a joke or get real sarcastic, I hear her sense of humor. And when I feel like giving up, her feisty spirit bubbles to the surface.

If I ever have a family of my own, these are things I hope will be passed on – to be able to raise another green-eyed, feisty, hilarious, little creative genius.

Here’s to Mary Sue Whitlow – I love you Mamma!

In an instant

2008-07-24T14:57:00.001-06:00

In an instant it can all go up in flames. A loved one can pass away. Pieces of our heart and soul taken away, never to return whole again.

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine lost her new home. Her and her new husband and their kids had worked tirelessly for 6 months to build a new start and a place they could call home. They just got it all finished and moved in ready for their new beginning. Within a matter of minutes it was up in smoke and flames. They could only watch as a team of firefighters tried to contain the flames and save what they could of their hard work.

As I walked through the wreckage this afternoon, my shoes soaking up water and soot, I cannot explain the range of emotion I was feeling and it was not even my home. I was thankful that my friend’s lives had been spared, but broken-hearted and angry for their loss, all their hard work and excitement in burnt pieces. What I walked through was a shell of smoke, dripping water, charred remains, and remnants of a new beginning. It was unbelievable. They said themselves that it was just stuff and that they were just thankful that none of them were injured. Things, of course, can be replaced. But it is still a death, a loss of something you loved and put your time and energy into. It is a piece of you that has been taken.

I am learning that life is a series of these losses. Once you recover from one blow, here comes another.

And I am reminded how precious moments are and how crucial clinging to the LORD is. What else is our suffering for than to grow and stretch us under His guidance and purpose? It is hard to see His face in times like this, but I know just like He has me in His hands in the still deep grief of losing my mom, so He is holding on to my friends in the midst of the tragic loss of their home. I will grow stronger in my loss and so shall they rebuild and move forward, because the LORD is good. But the loss is still painful and can surprise us with its sharp edge.

My prayer is for peace, healing, and strength in the things we lose along the journey, may the pain grow us stronger and bring us closer to Him.

Please pray for my friends as they begin to rebuild and heal …

Moral Relativism & Absolute Truth - Part 1

2008-07-17T11:12:00.004-06:00

Ok, so I was perusing through GoogleNews this morning before I got started on my work and came across an interesting article about the Catholic Youth Day in Sydney. I’m not Catholic, nor do I wish to be, but I found some of the things the Pope spoke about strike a chord of truth within me. A couple of his quotes stuck out particularly …

“Do not be confounded by those who see you as just another consumer in a market of undifferentiated possibilities where choice itself becomes the good, novelty usurps beauty, subjective experience displaces truth.”

“Relativism, by indiscriminately giving value to practically everything, has made ‘everything’ all important. Yet experiences detached from any consideration of what is good or true, can lead not to genuine freedom, but moral or intellectual confusion, to a lowering of standards, to a loss of self-respect.”

The article also states that he attacks the idea that there are no “moral absolutes”. Growing up in a post-modern era, this is not a new topic for me. Postmoderns typically believe there is no truth – do whatever feels good. Define it for yourself and so on …

I have to admit I’ve never really bought into that bag of fluff, but on the other hand I can see it’s appeal, it’s rational.

I am still trying to process how that fits in with my walk with Christ and how I coexist in a culture like ours and try to reach out to the lost and hurting, but I’d be interested in knowing what you guys think about Moral Relativism and Absolute Truth. And yes, I know, I am opening a big can of worms … So what are your thoughts, comments, etc.? I am curious. So comment away …

Charlie & Lola

2008-06-14T11:58:00.006-06:00

I love cartoons, still, even though I am old and shouldn't. I don't even have the excuse of having children to justify my watching of them. I am an unashamed cartoon watcher!! There I said it! I embrace my childlike silliness!! (It keeps me youthful)

The best time for cartoons is on a lazy Saturday morning while you're still in your pajamas, lounging on the couch, enjoying a bowl of your favorite cereal.

I spent my morning in just this fashion. I wanted to share with everyone, as silly as it may be, my recent favorite cartoon program to watch. I discovered this cartoon over a year ago and it is just lovely! Charlie & Lola is the best cartoon ever! They are just so fun and joyful! I have posted below an episode (in two parts) for you to enjoy!

Yea for Charlie and Lola!!

tomato

2008-06-14T11:58:00.001-06:00

tomato2

2008-06-14T11:57:00.001-06:00

Miri Ben-Ari On Apollo

2008-05-23T21:30:00.001-06:00

I discovered this artist last night on CNBC watching a news program and I was blown away. What a creative way to use a classical instrument!! Just thought I'd share. This Miri Ben-Ari the hip hop violinist.

Garden Therapy

2008-05-16T13:15:00.006-06:00

I know it has been quite some time since last I posted. The last couple of months have just been tough. My creativity has not been at its all time high. Plus, it is hard to follow pictures of Ireland.

This last weekend was a difficult one I must confess. Mother's Day has never really been that easy, but this one especially. So I decided to do something productive, to not dwell in my sorrow, but do something constructive as a small memorial of sorts.

The project decided on was Gardening ...

A dear friend of mine gave me a small yellow rose bush (yellow roses were my mom's favorite and are quickly becoming mine) and some lavendar. So I added to my little patio garden some petunias, begonias, plantain lilies, and few others. And now I have a little garden haven right outside my sliding glass door. Digging in the dirt was therapy for me and a great way to remember my mom.

Here are some pics of my little beauties ...

Ireland - A trip of a lifetime

2008-03-28T11:39:00.003-06:00

Well, I am home, back from my homeland (regrettably so – I could have just stayed there quite happily). My adventures in Ireland were magical and amazing!! I am still in awe of how amazing the LORD is and how much He gives to His children! The entire time I was there I just kept replaying the scripture Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” He is soooooo good to us!!!

I have many stories and tales about our time there, but I think everyone would tire of reading them all at once, so I will spread them out and blog them later. For now, I will simply share some photos for your viewing pleasure, so you can see with your own eyes the magic that is Ireland!!

Cheers!!

Leaving for Dublin

Running around Dublin

2008-03-28T11:20:00.010-06:00

Christ Church Cathedral

Old door and Lantern at Christ Church

Closeup of Christ Church architecture

Trinity College Main Entrance
Sunset at Trinity College
Buildings on Trinity College Campus
Another Building at Trinity College

Heather and Mary Margaret at Trinity College

Overlooking the River Liffey before the St. Patrick's Day Parade

Parade Spectators
Drinking a pint at Purdy's Kitchen Pub on St. Pat's Day
Overlooking Dublin from the top of the Guinness Factory
Cheers!!

Heather and I at the Guinness Factory
A Street Minstrel

Malahide Castle outside of Dublin

2008-03-28T11:13:00.004-06:00

Malahide Castle

Adventures in Dun Laoghaire

2008-03-28T11:01:00.004-06:00

The Girls at the Dublin Bay

High Tide on the coast of Dun Laohaire (pronounced Leery)
A lighthouse in the pouring rain at Dun Laoghaire
The Docks
Tasty Fish and Chips at Eagle's House Pub in Dun Laoghaire

Pints of Guinness and Cider - MMMMM!!

Exploration at Newgrange

2008-03-28T10:33:00.008-06:00

Daffodils - they were absolutely everywhere and beautiful even though it was freezing outside! Sturdy little boogers!

The River Boyne near Newgrange

A lovely little reminder for us tourists

A real Irish Rainbow - my camera didn't pick it up real well

An Irish Cottage by the side of the road - I want to live there!!
Newgrange - an ancient burial mound that predates the Pyramids and Stonehenge - We actually got to go inside - but I couldn't take pictures
A fence on Newgrange Farm

Mary Margaret, Heather, and I at entrance to Newgrange
An Irish Exit Sign

Walking through Glendalough

2008-03-28T08:59:00.008-06:00

The Cemetary and the Wicklow Mountains

Classic Celtic Cross in the Glendalough Cemetary

Glendalough Cemetary
Derrybawn Bridge
The Upper Lake Region of Glendalough - Also one of the locations where they filmed Braveheart!! You can't really tell from the picture but there was mist floating through the valley - Very Cool!!
The Gatehouse at Glendalough - St. Kevin's Monastery

The Round Tower of Glendalough in the mist
Looking at Glendalough across the Bridge
Glendalough again - this was one of my favorite places - So much history here . . .
We were getting pounded with sleet at this point - thought it made for a haunting picture

A kiss . . .

2008-03-03T19:18:00.007-06:00

It has been a little over a month since my mom passed away, although it seems like it was just last week. So much has transpired this last month and there is much to reflect on. I do not have the strength to say all that I want and need to. There will be more to come.

There is one thing I do want to share, one of the most incredible blessings of my life to date. But first I must start with two scriptures that I have prayed endlessly for many, many years. First is Psalm 37:4 - “Take delight in the LORD and He will give the desires of your hear.” And the second is I Cor. 2:9 - “ However, as it is written: No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.” These two scripture among many others, have carried me through some of the most difficult times in my life. They, to me, represent HOPE in the darkest of nights. I believe the Father gives us these promises to help us press through the trials, to look for Him amidst the storm.

I have been thinking a lot lately of dreams. I have always been a dreamer, or rather a daydreamer that is. I love creating stories in my head and with my over-active imagination that is not hard at all. The one thing I have never really done is dream of who I’d like to be or what I would like to accomplish or where I’d like to go. The reality of my life never allowed me to pursue those dreams very far. I focused myself on trying to be content with what the LORD trusted me with as far as my position with my mom and staying in Amarillo. Never really thought much further than that.

But the Father is faithful. He sees the deepest parts of our hearts. He sees our secret desires, even when we have banished them. He is an intimate God and deeply cares for his children. He fights for us and is truly doing battle along side us. He hears us and knows when it has grown to be too much. I get that now. I think I have always known that, but I get it now. He has become real to me in a way I don’t know if I would have ever experienced had it not been for the battle my mom and I faced together and finally in her death.

For those of you who doubt this intimate depth the LORD has with us, this ability to see our dreams and desires and give us what it is we have hoped for, let me tell you of a magnificent gift handed to me, pretty much on a silver platter.

One of my dreams, since before I can remember was to go to Ireland. If you know me well at all, this does not surprise you. I have red hair, St. Patrick’s Day is my favorite holiday, and I love Guinness! Going to the Emerald Isle has been one of my greatest longings. I always said - someday I’ll save up enough to go, someday . . . While in the back of my mind I knew it would never happen. But as I said before, the LORD hears. . .

Two weeks ago, a group of dear friends, family, and co-workers (some present, some represented) gave me one of my deepest desires - they gave me Ireland! The LORD in his infinite grace and mercy, knew I had reached my tipping point, He knew my dreams, though buried still longed to be fulfilled, and He knew I needed rest. So He placed on a dear friend’s heart to pull together a miracle, in which He has orchestrated every detail. So in a little less than two weeks, the day after my 29th birthday, me and two of my dearest friends will be boarding a plane for Dublin, Ireland for 7 magical days! One of which just happens to be St. Patrick’s Day!! That’s right I will actually be in Dublin, Ireland on St. Patrick’s Day!!! Who would have ever thought?!!! I am still completely blown away!!

The LORD really does give us the desires of hearts - even silly ones like Ireland! He is incredible. In the midst of my grief and pain, He has simply bent down from heaven with a kiss just to let me know that He sees and hears my cries and will give me rest . . .

What does one look like when given their dream? . . .

Here I am trying to stop crying after being shocked!

Not the most flattering pictures, but they are honest. The LORD is just good!!!

Mamma

2008-02-02T22:20:00.000-06:00

Mary Sue Whitlow
December 1, 1953 - January 28, 2008

My mom went to be with the LORD on Monday. I sit here today exhausted and feeling deep sorrow and emotions that there are simply not words for. Her death was not a surprise and yet you are never prepared for the finality that is death. Her services were yesterday at my church and it was a blessing to see and speak with the many friends and family that knew and loved her, as well as those who simply came to support me and our family. It was a beautiful service and tribute to a woman who was greatly loved. I was able to speak in her memory, a daughter’s tribute, if you will. There were several people that asked me to post those words here on my blog so that those who could not be at the service could know and remember the amazing woman that she was. You will have to bear with me, it is quite lengthy. But I did not want to cut any part out. My prayer is that there are those out there that will blessed by what she left behind . . .

I want to thank all of you for being here today. I see many faces I know and many I do not, but it is a comfort to know that so many are here to honor my mom. Your thoughts and prayers have carried us through a long, hard battle. In the last twenty years I know there have been so many that have walked out this journey with us. I thank you. We could not have done this without you. You have been our angels. Thank you to those of you who did the hard jobs, who prayed for us and with us, and those who simply journeyed with us. What blessings you have been.

Twenty or so years ago, my family and I began a battle. One day after school I remember my parents coming into my bedroom with a little booklet and told me my mom had just been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I had no idea at the time, but that would alter our lives in a colossal way. Multiple Sclerosis is a brutally slow disease, twenty years is a testament to that.

We obviously question such things, wonder why someone like my precious mother would have to suffer for that long. It is extremely difficult watching someone you love so much deteriorate before your eyes and suffer pain in the way she did. But, through this entire process, the LORD's hand has been a constant presence throughout our lives. I know for some that is hard to believe. We have had our critics in the decisions we have made. But the LORD is faithful and I often do not understand the pain fully until I step away and see the blessing he brings. I have heard it phrased that He will bring beauty from ashes.

In the last two years, this day has been anticipated. My aunt Charise and I, along with many faithful others, have watched and been amazed at my mother's uncanny ability to survive and her beautiful tenacity in the face of some pretty daunting odds. I remember very little of my early life with my mother, when she was well and active. But, I have many of you to fill in those gaps for me later. What I know of her now, was a woman searching, grasping, and fighting. I am not sure if she ever knew how much of my life she has defined and shaped. I am woman refined by trials because of the tenacity and fighting spirit, she not only showed me, but passed on to me. Even in the face of pain and death, my mother laughed. Her sense of humor was a little twisted, but was undeniably hilarious. She could make you crazy one minute and have you rolling the next. I find myself joking at what others might deem as an inappropriate time, but that is how we survived. We laughed.

We all have our memories of Mary Sue. Just the other day as we were preparing for the service, I pulled out old boxes and photo albums and began to sort through a lifetime. It was good for a daughter to see, to witness that lifetime of pictures, to see the person my mom was before the disease and to recall my own memories through pictures of my birth and of growing up with her. If you take a look at all the photographs, you will see a woman who loved animals, loved to be outside, loved fashion, and loved adventure.

We have all had to suffer some very difficult times with her and we have all called out in prayer for her for the LORD to ease her suffering. But those are the things that will fade in time. What I choose to remember are the great things - her fighting spirit, her tenacity that can be riveled in very few and her great sense of humor, as I said before. I know many of you have hilarious stories you could tell. I remember many times of she and my dad just cracking up. I am glad to have that passed on to me. She cared for people even when she couldn't get to where they were to say so. And she cherished those who crossed her path in kindness. She could remember everyone of my friends from college as I'd bring them home for the weekend to pray for and sing to her. She loved that. She was a social butterfly and would do anything to sit with someone and smoke a cigarrette. It was her time to chat and gossip. She was a lover of music. I remember her playing the piano in the back room of our house and then nagging me to practice my own playing. She was an amazing seamtress. She could simply look at something and then go home and recreate it. I was the best dressed kindergartner ever. She was incredible. She loved to go shopping, perfume, and getting her nails and hair done. Even in the face of the humiliation of her reality, she would come right back at it cracking a joke, making a sassy comment, or a funny face.

Some may think that the last twenty years were a waste, a horrible tragedy. Yet when you walk out the hard road, when you brave the difficult, or suffer the same pain with someone, you forge a bond. There are few that walked out the sorrow and suffering with her. And it is those same individuals that will be able to sing with joy for Mary Sue, that see there is a beautiful picture woven throughout the darkness, a triumphant purpose. She, in all her pain and disease, made those around her better people. She taught us how to survive unbearable circumstances with a smile and a joke.

We will all carry a little bit of Mary Sue Whitlow with us. If you were around her for very long at all, she wiggled her way into your heart, even if just the moment before she had just made you completely crazy. That is the true legacy of a person - the leaving of pieces of yourself in the people you loved. I will carry her tenacity, her uncanny ability to survive unbeatable odds, and of course her slightly twisted sense of humor. As we walk out the days ahead and remember, I know we will watch as the LORD brings beauty from her ashes . . .

compassion's dark side

2008-01-24T14:48:00.000-06:00

Compassion is a strange thing. The LORD calls us to it speaking it through hundreds of verses throughout the Word, even calling it out as a Fruit of the Spirit. And yet nowhere does it explain how terribly difficult it is.

I’m not talking of the great feeling you get sometimes when you give, when you see the joy on a child’s face when you deliver a special gift. Or the great feeling you get when you have bettered someone’s life in some small or large way.

I am speaking of those times when you reach out and give cool water to a dying person, or you watch as someone loses their battle with cancer and the last days are wretched; those times when a band-aid just doesn’t cut it. I am referring to the bleeding, dying, and chronic of humanity, those you are truly powerless to help. Those whose battles are not short, or whose problems are not easily solved with a donation; those that struggle minute by minute, those who just a drink of water will not help; those who you are privileged to walk it out daily with, not just one chance encounter of benevolence. No one tells you of those times when you are reaching out in compassion towards these and you feel completely helpless. It is in those dark moments when compassion becomes a forceful ripping of your heart. It almost feels as if you are bleeding with them and it is beyond brutal.

There was a time not too long ago when I was numb and void of compassion, simply going through the motions because that was what was expected of me. That is all I had the strength for. And then the LORD, in His mercy, began to heal me. Compassion came with the return of feeling. And the most surprising was through the forgiveness and healing of my relationship with my mother. But with the return of feeling comes not just the good, but the painful.

My mom is slipping again, as is her pattern of late. It is different for me this time. Last night I sat in the Emergency Room with her for hours, holding her head and her hand. I didn’t see her as my mom this time, through the eyes of an angry, abandoned, hurt child; but through the eyes of my Savior and it was almost too much to bear. I saw her as scared, wounded, broken, angry, and grasping. I saw her as I am – simply looking for answers, scared, and needing love.

No one shows you this dark side of compassion. Because it sucks! I have no idea how Christ did it! I am helpless, I can do nothing. A drink of water, a hug, a song, - nothing seems enough.

I wouldn’t give it up though, this revelation of pain in compassion. For that is when the Father, in His unexplainable faithfulness, stretches and grows us, so that when we are faced with yet another battle – we can stand a little stronger than the last time. We can only pray for strength, endurance, and peace in the midst of pain – even when it doesn’t seem to be enough . . .

“Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous . . . The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still . . .

Childlike Moments

2007-12-21T12:45:00.000-06:00

Are there those things from childhood that you just can’t quite give up, those things that still make you so excited even when you are supposed to be mature and grown up? Like catching snowflakes on your tongue, or when school is about to start and even though you have been out of school for five years you still want to buy a new backpack and new pencils or the smell of water on hot summer pavement after the sprinkler has been running, or when you get towels fresh out of the dryer and you have to just wallow in their fresh smelly niceness. I just had one such flash back to overwhelming giddiness . . .

I am pretty sure I just received the best Christmas present ever! Mary Poynor, one of the Children’s ministers here at AmarilloSouth just brought me a Christmas gift. Upon opening it I discovered one on my favorite things in the whole world (who cares if I am almost 30) – a brand new box of 120 Crayola Crayons!!!!! There is just something about opening a brand new box of crayons with their lovely waxy aroma and straight little lines of sharpness! It is magical! She knows that I love to color, so she is always bringing me things to color for the preschool lessons. I love it!!! Now I have my very own box of crisp, sharp new crayons and some Christmas coloring pages! I know what I will be doing this weekend!!

I pray that everyone has an amazing Christmas and is blessed with joyful childlike moments whether it be a brand new box of crayons and tasty holiday treats or just getting to celebrate our LORD’s birth with family and friends!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Cheers!

I've Been Tagged

2007-11-30T10:54:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by Lauren . . .

1. Name: Chelsey
2. Birthday: March 14, 1979
3. Birthplace: Amarillo, Texas
4. Eye Color: green
5. Hair Color: flaming red
6. Height: 5’6”
7. Ethnicity: Anglo
8. Weakness: Adventure Magazines, purses, the Discovery Channel, music, Starbuck’s coffee
9. Most missed memory: College
10. Thoughts first waking up: "Noooooooo!"How many times can I hit snooze?
11. Last time you cried: I don’t remember
12. Song title that currently says how you feel: Banana Pancakes - only because that is what I had for breakfast and it was tasty!!
13. What is the perfect day for you: Spending the day at home on my couch reading or out in nature somewhere like the mountains just breathing
14. Ever been asked for an autograph? Yes at the Hockey Games when I used to sing the anthem all the time
15. How do you vent anger? I have to just go off my by self and chill for awhile
16. Who do you talk to most on the phone? I really hate talking on the phone, but when I do it is probably either Emily or my cousin Adam
17. As a kid, were you a lego builder? Not that I remember, I was just always outside playing
18. Do you chew on your straws? Never really have
19. Do you sing in the shower? Absolutely – at the top of my lungs
20. Who's the last person you stayed up late talking to on the phone to? My cousin Adam
21. The last place you went to in a plane? Austin, TX
22. Do you cry at weddings? Sometimes, but I think it has only happened a couple of times
23. Are you afraid of the dark? Only when there are large objects in my path that I could potentially impale myself on
24. What are you addicted to? Organic Monterey Sourdough bread with Laughing Cow Garlic & Herb Cheese (I can’t get enough of the stuff lately) Naked Juice Super Green Machine, Water Still Mint Unsweet Iced Tea, chapstick
25. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Crunchy
26. Who do you fight with the most? I don’t know that I really fight with people, but perhaps it would be my mom when she is in one of her moods
27. Who can you tell anything to? I usually talk to my Aunt Charise or my friend Shelli at work or my best friends – Heather, MM Pants, Lindsey, Emily, Jen and Lauren
28. Do you recycle? Absolutely – thus the reason everyone at work calls me a hippie tree-hugger
29. Who makes you laugh the most? I don’t know – that is a tough one. I try to surround myself often with funny, witty people. It makes life more fun. Although I will say when Lindsey and I get on what of our accent kicks – everyone better watch out
30. What is the worst feeling ever? The feeling of watching someone suffering and dying and being completely helpless to do anything
31. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 behind my head and then several all around me – it’s ever so cozy
32. How many rings before you answer your phone? twice
33. How many times do you press the "snooze" button? As many times as I can get away with.
34. How do you sleep? Curled up in a cozy little ball under a mound of covers
35. Last time you laughed: Just a few minutes ago
36. Ever looked at someone ugly and said "EWWW"? I have seen some surprising looking individuals but I don’t usually say anything
37. What is your favorite color? Silver, as decided by Lauren and I at 2:00 in the morning at IHOP while studying in college
38. What is your favorite state? Texas – but Colorado is a close 2nd

Now I get to tag...Emily, Jason, Leslie,

Gratitude

2007-11-21T09:55:00.001-06:00

We live in a culture of instant gratification. At the touch of a button, snap of our fingers or swipe of our credit card we can obtain our hearts desire in an instant. We eat fast food, have high speed internet, have stores and restaurants open 24 hours a day and don't even have to watch commercials anymore with the brilliance that is TiVo. Our cell phones are a crucial part of our existence next to food, water, and shelter. I mean think about it, when was the last time you misplaced or accidentally left your cell phone at home or in the car. You panicked didn't you? Afraid you might miss that important call or text message. And with all of these things come the inevitable moans, groans, and complaints. The internet isn't fast enough, this store didn't have the exact thing I wanted, I had to wait in line, my food was cold and it took way too long, that person in front of me is driving way too slow, etc etc etc. We are an impatient, complaining, and often ungrateful race. Something has been lost in the chaos of what we want and what we actually need. Patience is unheard of, time - a concept to be rushed through.

Just the other day, I found myself ending my work day frustrated, stressed out and agitated because the server at work was crawling, setting me behind by several hours and making my work take three times as long. I came home last night in a foul mood, complaining and really wishing I had something to hit or yell at. (Being that my last entry was on choosing joy, perhaps I shouldn't be admitting my impatient moodiness? Hmmm . . . oh well it's about being real isn't it?) That night as I stood in line at Wal-Mart with my measly box of cereal and turkey bacon, I found myself silently grumbling because I was stuck behind the slowest and most incompetent person alive at the self check-out. The lady at the register next to me was on her cell phone, barking orders at her young child and complaining to a friend on the phone about how she hated the Holidays, as she was being forced to cook food for her family and worst of all her in-laws. Then there was the man behind me, even more impatient than I, loudly sighing, as if to announce to the whole of Wal-Mart that he was pissed and someone better hurry up and get out of his way. The air was crackling with tension, shot nerves, and impatience.

I arrived home that night exhausted, pissed off, and tied up in knots. What a great way to end the day!! The fact that I had to get up the next morning at 4:30am for the Community Prayer Breakfast didn't appease the situation any either.

But the LORD is certainly more clever than I.

Tuesday morning I woke with a word floating around in my head: Gratitude. Now I know that with Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, this word is not some great revelation. Everyone is thinking about what they are thankful for at this time of year, right? Do we really know the true meaning of gratitude? Not just being thankful for this or for that, but really being grateful even in the face of a storm?

The Father always seems to find a way in my life to tie things together. He has been calling me to choose joy, but as I learned yesterday, that's not all. Gratitude must be Joy's partner. They must travel together. One can not survive without the other. They are companions with Sorrow and Suffering. They build and stretch us.

Hindsight is 20/20 and if I look back on the last several days, I can see lesson after lesson followed by blessing after blessing where the Father was teaching me about Gratitude, teaching how blessed I truly am; even in the midst of some incredible trials. I wish I could share them all, but I am simply going to leave this post with a song. Music speaks so powerfully in my life. This is a song I have loved for some time, but discovered again last night. I am amazed at how he sets things in our path just when we need to be reminded of them again. The song is by Nicole Nordeman and I found a video version of it on YouTube done by a church for their Thanksgiving service. So enjoy . . .

And Happy Thanksgiving . . .

gratitude

2007-11-21T09:54:00.001-06:00

The Discipline of Joy

2007-11-09T17:01:00.000-06:00

Well, as is typical of my blogging frequency, it has been over a month since my last post and it wasn’t really even a post. Life for me continues as it always has – fast, furious, and never a dull moment. The last month has been a little stressful, but the Father continues to bless and stretch me in incredible ways even in the stormiest times. Over the last several weeks our family has dealt with sickness and hospitals. My mom and her situation is a constant state of drama, but we added this month my Grandmother and my Aunt. Grandmommy went to the hospital last week with possible Congestive Heart Failure and found out she had a several blood clots in her leg and one in her lung. Dealing with her and my Granddad was quite the challenge being that they are two of the most stubborn people ( probably where I got it from ) and my Aunt Charise was horribly sick with some kind of bug/parasite she picked up on her adventures in Peru. We were blessed though with the help of Megan, Sarah, and Jen (some of my cousin’s wives). So needless to say, there was lots of time juggling, hospital food, and several tanks of gas consumed in the last few weeks. Again, never a dull moment!

I am amazed though at the Father during times of darkness and valleys, like this one. It is in these times, when He stretches me further than I thought I could go and teaches and shows me some incredible things. One particular things He has been placing in my path over and over again recently is the concept of Joy and Blessing.

Recently I have felt tested to what I thought my limits were. After 20 years of caring for my mom and all her drama and then topping that off with other blows, I find myself at the ripe old age of 28 – exhausted, beat-up, drained, and empty. The last month has almost done me in. My own physical health is in bad shape and I feel like I am in overload mode. But the reality remains that I have no choice but to get up in the morning and stand back up. I don’t get the option to fall apart.

It is in these moments when it so tempting to just take off, shirk my responsibilities and hit the road. Or just shut down completely, becoming a hermit in my little apartment. But that certainly won’t fix anything. So what do you do? How do you survive an ongoing battle when you are at your absolute lowest? What do you do when you are angry at those who left this mess for you to clean up when it should have never been your burden to bare? What do you do when you look in the mirror and you find someone staring back at you has become bitter and resentful? Do you just give up the fight and take off?

Or, do you pull your beaten, bloody, and broken self back up and stand?

Our lives are full of stress and in the world like we live in today, the burdens aren’t going to get lighter. So how do we survive without becoming wretched, angry souls? How do we stand back up in spite of our own pain?

The answer is the discipline of JOY. The LORD has been teaching me some very serious lessons on this discipline. Life sucks! If you have reached the adolescent years, you are well aware of this fact. But we have a choice. We can choose to stare pain, emptiness, brokenness, hurt, circumstances, and flames in the face and instead of collapsing, complaining, and ending up bitter and angry, we can stand up and open our eyes to the good, to the blessings, and to the light amidst the storm.

I forget this often and allow myself to become consumed with merely surviving the day. But I am continually reminded that I am a daughter of the King and no matter what my circumstances, I am blessed if only to be called His child.

I have been dealt some pretty tough cards in my young life, but I have also been showered with some pretty amazing blessings. I have friends and family that love me, a wonderful apartment, a new car that goes in reverse and has all its windows, I have never gone hungry, and I have a God who loves me and continues to amaze me with His patient faithfulness.

My aunt and I had a great conversation on the phone last night, a difficult conversation, but good. She reminded me of something that I know, but tend to forget when I am overwhelmed and defeated. Let go of what you didn’t get or don’t have and focus on those things that you do.

Joy is something we must choose to have, each day as we decide to stand. Something we choose to see, rather than what we do not have or how we were wronged. Something we choose to embrace, rather than bitterness and anger.

After I got off the phone with my aunt, I started flipping through the Scriptures and came to a passage in 2 Corinthians 8:1-3, that reminded me yet again that even in the most horrible of situations there is joy to be found, because we are His children.

“1And now, brothers, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. 2Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. 3For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own,

Sometimes the Father calls us to stand and keep fighting, even when we feel we have nothing left to give and calls us to do it joyfully. What is so amazing is that He continues to strengthen and fight along side us, even when we forget that He is there.

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” Psalm 28:7

P.S. I posted a video below from World Vision. I signed up to sponsor a child a few weeks ago at a Casting Crowns concert and just got the packet in the mail yesterday. Yet another reminder of how incredibly blessed I am and how I can in turn bless others. Enjoy!

One Heart, One Life

2007-11-09T14:46:00.001-06:00

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

2007-09-26T15:26:00.001-06:00

I just discovered this artist and fell in love with this song! Plus she has redhair - Can't go wrong there!!

Fall

2007-09-26T15:11:00.000-06:00

Fall is here! I walked out of my apartment this morning and felt that distinctive crispness that comes only certain times of the year. I love it! I love when the heat fades and you get to bring out the long sleeves, drink hot tea, and instead of using the air-conditioner in the car – you can roll down the windows and feel that beautiful cool breeze. It is a magical time of year!!!

There is a marked difference between the slow, lazy days of Summer and that heightened pace of the Fall. It is exciting! So as is typical of my chaotic life, much has happened since my last post and much will be happening soon!

One event of note happens to a bittersweet one. My wonderful Saturn that I just got paid off last October kicked the bucket! I woke up two weeks ago Monday to it not starting and knew it was time for a change. The list of it’s problems was pretty lengthy with over a 180,000 miles on it, a missing window, a dying transmission, the starter going out, the battery draining at random times with no discovered cause and the gloriousness of the head gasket cracking, it was time to say goodbye to my paid-off car. So I have now entered the world of a car payment yet again and I am now driving a beautiful Silver 2004 Pontiac Grand Am with tinted windows, a sun roof, and a killer sound system. A couple of friends have expressed their excitement in the fact that I now have a real back seat with 4 normal doors, so they don’t have to squeeze into my tiny backseat using the secret 3rd door like they did on the Saturn. But the most beautiful part of it to me, is that it has all its windows and goes in reverse!! I love it!

In other exciting news I am getting out of town!!!!! On Friday afternoon I will proceed to the mountains of Colorado to go camping with my cousins! I am longing for the mountain air and for just being in nature!! I don’t know how I would survive if I were never able to be outside, amongst nature. I think I might go nuts!!! Perhaps I will have pics to post when I get home; (if I come home. I’d probably be perfectly happy if I stayed in a cabin somewhere high up in the mountains. As long as there is a pub near by. Hehehe)

I suppose I must return to actually working, so that is all I have to report for now. Perhaps I will have adventures to tell of upon my return from the mountains!

Cheers!

Sorrow and Joy

2007-08-21T08:50:00.000-06:00

So my world continues in its crazy drama and eventfulness. I have decided that it is not possible for me to have a boring week! Something always comes up. I guess it makes life interesting though.

This last week and weekend were filled with some extreme lows and some extreme highs. I will start with the sad news, so that I can end on something positive.

Last Tuesday my step sister Lisa Sasser passed away. She was only 26 and left behind her husband and three small children, Ryan, Deven, and Mikayla. Her son Ryan has muscular dystrophy and is the one I went to MDA camp with a couple of summers ago. They are precious children. They have been living with my Dad and Cathy for awhile. This was so unexpected, so needless to say everyone is pretty torn up. Please keep this family in your prayers. They need the LORD more than ever at this time. No child should have to lose their mom that early in life and no parent should have to experience the loss of a child in this way! Prayers are crucial in this dark time!

Here is a picture of Lisa.

Immediately after the Funeral service for Lisa on Friday afternoon I hopped on a plane to Austin for my baby cousin Tyler’s Wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and I was glad that I was able to be at both the funeral and wedding. It was such a testament to the cycles of life – death and life; sorrow and joy. Just when we think life is at its darkest, the Father reminds us of the joy as well. I am not going to write much about the wedding, but here are pics from the weekend.

Here is a table from the rehearsal dinner. I was supposed to be the decorator for this but I had to count on my Aunt Charise and my cousin Megan to pull it off since it was on Friday night and I wasn't there yet. They did a great job!!

Chris, Ryan, Adam, Tyler, and Austin chillin at the Luau!

Grandparents with Granddaddy's sisters Aunt Celeste and Aunt Thelma.

Here is David a.k.a. Ethan "slaying" Goliath a.k.a. Adam

My Uncle Steve and cousin Kaleb. Aren't they dashing?

Look at these handsome cousins? We are a good-lookin family.

UhOh Monkey sees one of his grandparents!

My Aunt Charise and I

Ryan, Megan, and Little Jakob

UhOh - Grandmother got caught dancing with the groom - Aren't they adorable?

The Happy Couple
Tyler and Sarah with our Grandparents

Weekend in Georgetown

2007-07-17T09:41:00.000-06:00

A couple of weekends ago my aunt Charise, Grandparents, and I went down to the Austin area of the state for my little cousin Tyler’s wedding shower. I can’t even believe all my little cousins are grown up and of the marrying age, leaving me in the dust!

It was a great trip, even though we thought we might get swept away in a flood! But the LORD was with us and we didn’t have a drop of rain driving there or back. It was a different story once we were in Georgetown, but the traveling part was smooth sailing. I always enjoy seeing and spending time with my cousins! I don’t get to see them often enough. I got to love on them, especially little Jakob, my cousin Ryan and his wife Megan’s little boy and he is just so kissable. (pictures of his cuteness are below)

One cool thing about the weekend was that I got to spend Shabbat with my family. The particular branch of my family I spent the weekend with is Messianic, so we started celebrating the Sabbath on Friday evening and continued on into Saturday. It was a special experience to here the blessings and take communion and share that time with them. I was glad I got to be a part of it. I also got to partake in some very tasty fresh organic food, both at my uncle Steve’s house (they have chickens and goats and a fresh herb garden! Mmmmm . . . ) and an organic diner called the Continental Café.

I also had a few adventures in our travels . . . I learned how to milk a goat. I don’t ever want to do that again or drink goat’s milk again!! Yuck! But it was a learning experience to say the least. I got to experience the tasty food of Freebird’s, way better than Amarillo’s Sharky’s. And I got hit on by a very confident teenage boy in a Lampasas convenient store. Maybe I should have worn some makeup that day.

All in all it was a great trip and I get to make it again in August for Tyler and Sarah’s wedding. Woohoo – more fun!

Ok, so here are the pictures from the weekend, some of them are not so great because they were taken with a disposable camera, but they are still fun!

The Cousin's at Freebird's: Tyler, Chris, Me, Jakob, Ryan, and Megan.

My Aunt Charise's and I at the Wedding Shower.

Little Jakob and Megan. Notice his shirt!! We teach 'em to be fans early in this family!!

Ryan, Jakob, and Granddaddy at Continental Cafe - 3 generations represented.

Sarah's mom and her at the Shower.

Me and Tyler at Continental Cafe - I can't believe he's getting married!!

A beautiful rainbow after a torrential downpour in Georgetown.

That's right - I am attempting to milk a goat! - Yuck!!!!

Fourth of July Festivities

2007-07-05T13:25:00.000-06:00

Well, yesterday was quite the festive day here in good ole’ Amarillo on Independence Day 2007! I have always loved the Fourth of July and it has especially meant a lot to me in the years post 9/11. It means something different to me now that I am older and I realize just what it is that our soldiers are doing for us across the seas, fighting for our freedom. And I have to admit every time I hear Lee Greenwood’s I’m proud to be American song I get a little weepy.

To start off my Fourth of July yesterday I traveled to the booming metropolis of Canyon, TX with my good friend Emily Davis to watch the Canyon Fourth of July Parade and go to the Fair on the Square for some tasty fried treats. We had primo seats for the viewing of said parade, as we watched it from the porch swing of the Hudspeth House, a bed & breakfast Emily’s mom and step dad run. It was really quite a cool experience. Here I was on the porch of a beautiful historic home surrounded by excited kids and their families decked out in their Red, White, and Blues proudly waving their flags and relaxing on the roadside in their lawn chairs. A true picture of good ole’ Americana! The really touching part of the parade was when a Military float would drive by – the entire crowd would promptly jump to their feet and applaud the Men and Women representing those that are serving our country right now. You really couldn’t help but get a little misty eyed. There was such respect from the crowd. It is such a refreshing change to see such respect and appreciation for those who are dying so that we can sit on our safe, little, small-town roadsides and catch candy from a float and go eat fried food and get our faces painted on the square with no fear that we are about to blown up. I just felt really appreciative yesterday for being able to take part in a piece of Americana like a parade and a giant corn dog from a Fair vendor. There are just no certainties in our world today. I can only pray that someday, if I am blessed with children, that I will get to share an Independence Day parade with them. I want to take nothing for granted.

Ok on to the rest of the day . . . last night I went to some good friend’s house and we enjoyed some tasty burgers and beverages and then watched the Fireworks from their yard, which just happened to be across the street from the park where they were launching the fireworks. So I again had some primo seats for the show! It was a wonderful Fourth of July, full of the blessings of good friends and good times!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth just like I did!

Here are some pics from the parade, I didn’t get any at the BBQ or the Fireworks show.

Cheers!

My friends Emily and Danielle and I chillin on the front porch of the Hudspeth House.

Emily, Danielle, and I watching the parade. I am holding Danielle's precious son Benjamin. He is telling me to look at the cars.

Emily and I on the porch. I am on the porch swing and had to pull the chains apart so they weren't cutting my face off.

Ben and I talking about the cars.

Puppies, Poisoning, and Politics

2007-06-22T10:06:00.000-06:00

No, I’m not dead. I didn’t fall off the face of the earth, though very tempting. So, after getting reprimanded from several friends, I have returned after my long respite from the blogging world.

Much has happened in the last few months – I have moved into a new apartment, had some good friends come to visit, was a mom for a weekend, was a sponsor for a Middle School Six Flags trip, and various other adventures. It has been a busy, hectic time. But things are slowing a bit and perhaps, (I am not making any promises) I will be a little more faithful to the writing of blogs. We shall see.

Introducing Sebastian

So after the brief synopsis of the last couple of months I shall tell of my current happenings. We shall start with puppies. . . Now most of you know that I am a dog lover and if I had an apartment that allowed pets I would have my very own canine companion (to be more specific a Husky named Everest that would play Frisbee with me and play in the mountains). But alas, I live in a pet-free zone. So when some good friends asked me to watch their house and dogs while they went away for a family vacation, “I said of course – I would love to!” Little did I know the great challenge I would face! In a family that consists of 4 married couples there are a total of 7 dogs, that’s right 7 dogs!! Three tiny little Chihuahuas and 4 big dogs. It is quite a zoo, especially when one or more decide that they don’t like each other and feel the need to go for each other’s jugulars! The quiet, pet-free zone of my apartment is looking better and better every day! On Saturday, thankfully, my life will be back to a dog poop and barking free existence!

Now to the poisoning . . . So on Father’s Day I had the clever idea to take my Dad golfing for the day. He loves to play and I used to when I was younger so I thought it would be a great way for us to spend time together. Now, I have been a red-head for almost 30 years and I know the value of a good sunscreen. So before I left for our golfing excursion I slathered a ton on, but made the catastrophic mistake of forgetting to put the bottle in my bag so that I could reapply later. Tragic mistake!!! Needless to say, after 5 hours in the hot West Texas sun on a course with no shade anywhere, I sustained one of the worst sunburns of my life, complete with almost blood-purple skin and the ohh so lovely appearance of blisters. (Side-note I had just roasted myself two weeks previous at Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor, so this was the second bad burn in less than two weeks – Not Smart!) After a few days of the normal sun burn pain, it became quickly apparent that it was much worse that I thought when instead of getting better I became redder and more swollen and then it was confirmed by two doctors and nurse that I had sun poisoning!! Let me tell you bath tubs full of ice and benadryl can be your best friend and your worst enemy!!!! So please if you are at all wise – learn from my stupidity – WEAR SUNSCREEN, because your body temperature should never get close to 105 degrees!!!!!!!!

On a lighter note – let us move to on to politics! So I have always been interested in history, archaeology, people’s stories, etc. But I have never really paid much attention to politics or rather current World events, other than just what I needed to know to make an informed voter’s decision, which sadly was never much. I have always been a republican because I was raised in a conservative Republican family and I live in Texas. I voted for Bush, I am pro-life and I support our troops fighting for our freedom and I think you should work your tail off for a living, not hold your hand out. This is how I was raised and I have never really questioned it. Now some of these ideals and opinions will stand regardless, but in recent months it has become apparent to me that I have a responsibility to myself to know what is going on in the world around me. The LORD blessed me with intelligence and awareness – I shouldn’t just let it sit idle and not know what kind of world I am living. I don’t want to be the kind of person that is ignorant or is comfortable with other’s making decisions for me especially if I don’t know where their ideals and morals stand. With a presidential election right around the corner, our nation at war, and the buzz on global warming, AIDS, and poverty every where you turn, I thought it was time I really paid attention. Not only paid attention, but to actually know and understand what kind of world I am living in. I don’t want to take for granted the freedom I have in this country to make decisions for myself and to actually make an impact on the world around me. So I am on a quest for knowledge. I watch Fox News and CNN now, read NewsWeek and the New York Times, and I am learning to live green, among other things. I was convicted that I have stewardship over the things that the LORD has given me and that includes not only my money, but the earth, my intelligence, and the impact I have on the world around me. We are living in an interesting and dangerous time Post-9/11 and I don’t want to take anything for granted.

So there it is . . . the happenings in the world of Chelsey Whitlow as of late. I hope to be a little more consistent with my blogging, but I make no promises. I hope this satisfies those of you that have been wondering if I have fallen off the face of the planet.

Cheers!

Growing older

2007-03-12T15:20:00.000-06:00

Ahhh the joys of getting older. . . joints are getting creakier, stairs are getting a little harder to climb, more responsibilities join the pile, bouncing back from a late night takes a little longer than it used to and that breakfast donut doesn’t seem to metabolize, it just says stuck to the hip and bootie region.

In two days I will turn 28, which means only 2 short years until I turn 30. My 10 year high school reunion is in a little less than 2 months and it dawned on me yesterday that I have already been out of college for 5 years. That just doesn’t seem right to me! Time really does fly faster the older you grow. But I must say I am loving it! (Despite those donuts camping out on my bootie) I love growing older – getting more and more comfortable in my own skin, gaining wisdom through the trials, deepening friendships, and finally understanding what my parents always said I would when I got older. It is and will always be quite the adventure!!

In celebration this year I got the privilege of spending the weekend with two of my best friends in the whole world – Lindsey and Emily. They came down from Dallas/Ft. Worth to hang with me. It is unreal how blessed I am with some of the most amazing Godly friends. There are those of us that have scattered in the wind in our various directions, but the Father holds us close across the distances and it is awesome how those relationships deepen with age. Then there are those like my fabulous Heather and MM Pants that get to see me often here in good ole Amarillo! But all of them play such an important part in my life.

But this weekend remained about my two amigas Lou Lou and Em and the craziness that is the three of us – from laughing at each other to eating beer-butt chicken(Em’s favorite) and tasty El Camino fare to acting like 5 years olds jumping on an inflatable JumpKing at a 3 year olds birthday party! We always seem to know how to get the most out of our short times together. So I am going to share a few crazy pics from my birthday weekend and show you the blessing that Lou and Em are to me!

Em, Lou, and I posing with the little man at the El Camino in the booming town of Tulia, TX

. . . ba d'oan nadur amhain iad (they were kindred spirits)

My new Guinness Pajamas - thanks Em! You know me too well

More Pics of the Crazies

2007-03-12T14:26:00.000-06:00

MMMM- Beer-Butt Chicken - Tasty Goodness in my belly!
Em - enjoying her favorite kind of chicken thanks to my Daddy and his grill skills!

Me jumping on the Castle!
Em trying to crack the egg!
Look Mom, no hands!
Lou, Me, and Em - crashin the 3 year old party while they're eating cake!

Ski School, March, and Thanksgiving

2007-03-06T15:50:00.000-06:00

Well, yet again I have taken quite some time to update my blog. I just get busy and forget until one friend or another gently (or not so gently) reminds me that I need to update yet again!
So what has been going on in my neck of the woods? So very, very much!!

First of all, I survived the AmarilloSouth Middle School Ski trip with only minor injuries!! It was a great trip and I fared far better at the whole skiing thing than the first time I tried. Thank you ski school!! I even met an Irishman at the ski rental place and scored a free boot and ski upgrade from him! Yea for being a redhead!! So besides face-planting the first time off the ski lift, I didn't fall the whole day until my last time down the mountain and I busted hard and pulled my knees! So needless to say I couldn't ski the rest of the weekend, but that didn't bother me because how can you be sad if you are in the mountains and it's snowy!! Sadly I have no pictures of this grand event, so I will let you use your imagination and envision the hilarity of me falling off the ski lift.

Now I must say something about our current month . . . March is my absolute favorite month of the year, not only is it the month of my birth, but it includes my favorite holiday - St. Patrick's Day and it is when things start getting springy and I have the intense need to be outside all the time! I love this month!!

In other news . . . I am moving!! Sadly, it is not to a new city. But I am finally moving up in the world! No longer will my bedroom be in the middle of the living/dining room, but I will now officially have a bedroom!! WooHoo!! I loved my little studio apartment, but after a winter of lots of snow and being stuck in that little apartment for long periods of time because my car is too low to the ground and doesn't like to drive through large mounds of white, this chica is ready to be able to escape into another room instead of being in the same one all the time. So in little less than a month, I will make the long, tortuous move across my apartment complex to the glory of a one-bedroom apartment!! Oh the joy!!

In very belated news . . . I have only just received a cd of the pictures of my family from this Thanksgiving!! I know, it was about stinking time! So I wanted to share with all of you out in blog world some of the cute pics of my fam and of the joyous time we had in celebration of Thanksgiving and of my grandparents 60th Wedding Anniversary. So without further ado . . .

Here is the happy couple!! Harry and Charlotte Whitlow, still holding hands and laughing after 60 years of marriage! What a true testament to what the Lord can do when a marriage is dedicated to him!!

Here Grandparents are with all of their Great-grandchildren, minus the Austin crew.

Here are Ella, Maddison, Kennedy, Elena, and Kaitlyn performing for Grandparents for their anniversary!

Exploring by the stream.

The glow of the campfire. We got the amazing experience of sharing what we were thankful for as a family, while we were sitting around the campfire. It was a rare and magical moment!

Here are the boys playing with fire and the girls trying to stay warm!

More Pictures from Thanksgiving

2007-03-06T15:27:00.000-06:00

Amy and I chatting by the campfire

You may think that I am in deep thought, but really I am just hypnotized by the campfire and there are absolutely no thoughts running through my mind at that moment! Some of you may not be surprised by that statement!

Eric and Jamey helping Charise out in the kitchen! Watch out!

The SPF Club - Redheads who burn easy and are still single!! WooHoo for Michael, Adam, and I! Aren't we hot stuff?!!

This pic is kind of dark, but here are all the redheads in the family so far. Our plan is to take over the family!! Once Michael, Adam, and I start having kids someday there will be an explosion of 'em!

One Big Happy Family!!

A prayer for no broken bones

2007-02-22T09:07:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow evening I will set out on an adventure. One I must honestly say, I am not ready for. Tomorrow I will be embarking on the AmarilloSouth Middle School Ski Trip as a sponsor and at almost 30 years old, I will finally be learning how to ski! I have one other failed attempt at skiing under my belt, I guess it was time to try again. Not only will I be responsible for precious Middle School aged souls and their safety on the slopes, I will be responsible as well, for not killing myself as I go tumbling at high speeds down a mountainside. Give me a mountain cliff and a rappelling rope and I’m golden. Put me on two sticks and some slippery snow and ice and I get a little nervous! So needless to say if you think of me this weekend, please offer prayers of safety for me and those precious little Middle Schoolers! God help us!

Tale of an Insomniac

2007-02-07T09:08:00.000-06:00

I am pretty sure my clothes don’t match today. The extremely potent coffee I brewed this morning has not kicked in yet and I just answered the phone here at work by saying Gorillas Hockey, this is Chelsey, when I work at Amarillo South Church! I have images of the freaky vampire camel named Habibi dream I had in the less than 2 hours of sleep I had last night floating through my head. And just a few minutes ago someone asked me my email address and I forgot how to spell my name! I NEED SLEEP!!!!

I am now on about Day 11 without more than a couple hours of sleep at night. Insomnia is not my friend!!

To look on the brightside of this Insomniactic state- the fact that I am unable to focus on anything, my slurred words, and wacky dream retelling is providing the office ladies and miscellaneous others some great entertainment! So at least I am making people laugh at my expense.

Vulnerability

2007-01-25T07:59:00.000-06:00

I am learning the value of laying it all bare; of exposing the darkness inside of you; of the risk it takes to reveal your scars; of opening yourself up, fully knowing you could be slaughtered at any time. There is something profound about that kind of vulnerability, something necessary in order for us to grow closer to our God.

For so many years I have been closed off, protective of my scars, walled up and afraid – a terribly bitter way to live out one’s existence. Very rarely did I let people in, fearing they would take even more of me away than had already been stripped. So I put on a mask, got hyper and silly, and played up one miniscule part of my personality to protect the vulnerability and woundedness of the rest of the pieces of myself. Because, as we’ve all thought at one time or another – who would love me if they really knew. . .

I have been called many things by many people, most better than I ever thought I deserved. Sometimes, even when we’re trying our best to hide, others see us more clearly than we do ourselves, the good and the bad. I have been blessed in life to have honest friends who were able to see me transparently. They are true gifts.

For several months now, provoked by a broken heart and a dying mother, my heart has been wrestling with perceptions vs. the truth about myself and others I come across in life. I am not the only one that puts on a mask. I am convinced that there are others like myself out there, who are hiding the truth about themselves. But I have to wonder, why is it that Jesus tells us that “the truth will set us free?” If this is true, if there is no condemnation in him, then why are we so afraid of truth? Why do we continue to live within perceptions?

I must be honest, I have lived most of my life walking under the guise of “perceptions” other’s have about me. This person thinks this so I’ll act this way with them. That person thinks that about me so I’ll play that part in their presence. Every friend, family member, or acquaintance and every situation – a different “perception” of me.

It’s exhausting.

But what is the Truth about me? Not the perception, (not even the perceptions I have about myself) but the real, honest-to-God truth about me?

Honestly? Do I really want to go there? Do I really want to lay it all bare? Do I really want to open a door, once opened - can never be shut again? Do I really want to be vulnerable?

The answer to all of those questions, strangely, is yes.
But, why? The truth is often ugly, brutally hideous in fact. Why would I want to do that? Can it really lead back to what Jesus says – that the truth will set me free? Because I want to be free! Masks, perceptions, and wall building is imprisoning and exhausting!

So what is my truth?

The truth is I’m a liar, a thief, I’m prideful, judgemental, weak-minded, lustful, envious, slanderous, wounded, abused, cut, hollowed out, run-over, gossipy, malicious, jealous, angry, and ungrateful. The list could continue to call out the dark, dirty crevices of who I really am – laying bare the truth of me that is so painful, so disgusting, and so deep. I could make you hate me because of my reality.

But what point would that serve? It might remind you not to assume your really know someone, it might provoke you to be a better person, it might make you feel a little sorry for me, it might even cause you to consider your own truth. But the point isn’t about me and it never should be; rather it should be about what has been done through me and who is at work within me.

I have learned to be vulnerable, because it serves a purpose in giving glory to God. He is the point of laying my truth bare.

For so many years I lived trapped in perceptions, created versions of myself – so that I could control things. I lived in a box, because a box was safe and predictable.

But in the last year I have been made aware of something I should have known all along – my God is not safe! He is wild, weird, and unpredictable in the midst of his sovereignty. He is creator of a vast, complicated, unbelievable world and I am one of those creations. He is completely outside of and beyond “perceptions”. Hiding the ugly, torn-up, bruised, beaten, sinful parts of me can never bring Him glory, because when something is being hidden and covered up, Light can’t penetrate it.

It is when I strip my “truth” of its hiding place, the pain, the intelligence, the scars, the sins, the laughter, the silliness, the strength, the weakness, the fear, the courage, the desires – all of it; that the Light begins to penetrate. That is when the Father can take a jumbled chaos of a person, wash it in the blood of His son, shed that Light on its reality and work transformation into a person’s life. That’s when it becomes not about you, the safe pieces you choose to display or the control you supposedly have and it becomes about Satan’s stronghold on you shattering, about your innate darkness being transformed by the Father’s Light into Christ-likeness, and about the Father getting glory through your life; his creation. It becomes about His work within you, instead of about how you choose to create and control “perceptions”. You then become truth – real, redeemed, human truth in all its raw honesty and darkness is transformed into glorious Light. His Light.

Confronted by Silence

2007-01-12T10:18:00.000-06:00

Last night I was sitting at home on my wonderfully comfortable couch pondering. I haven’t had much time or energy for pondering as of late. But last night proved to be a rare moment. I arrived home after work with no plans, no obligations, no house to clean, no mom to visit, and no small group lesson to prepare. It was an evening of freedom and after the insanely busy and noisy day I had at work, I welcomed the rare nothingness of an empty evening. So I prepared a gourmet dinner consisting of Special K Vanilla Almond Cereal and a hot cup of Cardamon Cinnamon Tea and settled into my couch for the evening. I started out with a bit of TV, but found nothing of interest, then entered into some book reading time, shortly finding myself unable to focus on the adventure story I had chosen, so I then decided to watch some episodes of Digging for the Truth on DVD (my new favorite show on the History Channel), and again found myself restless and bored. The only logical next step was to see what complete silence would be like. So I wrapped myself up in my down blanket, got cozy on the couch, and turned off all “noise”.

But I have to admit I was a little surprised at what happened next. It wasn’t quiet at all. Silence seemed to slam into me. Suddenly my thoughts could actually be heard and were raging inside my mind. It was a little frightening. They have been muffled for so long. And I must admit it was a bit uncomfortable. Clarity can be, at times, hard to handle. There are all these emotions, ideas, visions, decisions, thoughts, words, passions, pain . . . just running around inside my mind and I put them on mute most days just to get through the business of a day. Rarely are they allowed to blare at full volume.

In our busy lifestyles, we are surrounded by noise – cell phones, fax machines, the internet, television, radio, billboards . . . it doesn’t necessarily have to make an actual sound to be noise. It just has to be loud enough and distracting enough to muffle our thoughts, keep them numb and at bay. It’s like walking around in a haze, going through the motions. It feels like you aren’t really listening or absorbing anything truly. Everything becomes about surviving and rushing through the day. The thoughts in our mind become just another part of the larger noise.

Until . . . it’s quiet . . . until, you carve out a moment when everything has stopped and there is finally silence; when there is nothing else, when restlessness takes over and nothing satisfies but silent stillness . . . that’s when the mind explodes into a symphony of thoughts. And that is when God speaks; when He whispers of healing, revelation, memories, decisions, passions, and creativity; when we can actually hear what the Spirit is teaching us and when we can enter into a focused time of prayer and contemplation.

But these moments of clarity and quiet can often be some of the harshest times of reality. Because, in this silence, we are forced to confront ourselves and that is when the Father does some of His most necessary and painful growing of us; where He can stretch us, humble us, and heal us all that same time.
Last night I realized how much I needed to allow Him to speak to me, how long it had been since last we’d spoken, how much I needed to clear out the “noise” and just listen, and how much I needed to be just a little uncomfortable and face the symphony of thoughts in my mind. And it is inevitable that I always seem to find the paradox in these times of quiet - that His voice is both harsh reality and beautiful healing.

So here is the question posed, as I am lost in another day of noise and madness, why do I not sit in the quiet more often? Why do I keep saturating myself in the comfort of “noise” instead of facing the music (of my mind) so to speak?

Maybe the answer can be found in the fact that silence, most often, forces us to see who we really are, and I must admit, I am not always willing to face that truth.

Then again, when I am brave enough to face my own truth, settled close beside my own, is the beauty of His truth within me.

Christmas 2006

2007-01-03T13:43:00.000-06:00

Ok - I finally got my pictures back from my fabulous Christmas in Denver!

Finally a Real White Christmas - Isn't it beautiful?!

Kennedy and I relaxin in the easy chair - This is a rare moment - I could never even get her to say hello to before - It was a beautiful little moment!
The Cousins stylin in our matching pajama pants - Aren't we soooo good-lookin?- Thanks Angelee!!
The SPF Club - Redheads that burn easy - Michael, Adam, and I on Christmas morning

More Pics from Christmas

2007-01-03T13:31:00.000-06:00

Mason and Brant listen to some tunes

Old Yeller - still hangin in there

Just Chillin - Jamey, Michael, Eric and Melonnie

"You'll Shoot your eye out!" - Eric with Mason's new BB Gun

More Pics from Christmas

2007-01-03T13:17:00.000-06:00

Here is Mr. Beau Brumley playing with his new block.

The Three Princesses: Ella, Maddie, and Kennedy in their new princess pajamas!
Santa with Eric and Melonnie's kids
The kids waiting patiently for Christmas

The Blessings of My Holidays

2006-12-30T12:04:00.000-06:00

Ok so I know it has been forever since last I posted. There is every excuse in the book I could use, but today I have none. I have nothing else of importance to do. Currently I am residing in the fabulous home of Lance and Sona Wolff, "iced" in mind you, while sadly they are snowed in in Cimmaron, New Mexico in a tiny little hotel room (that's reportedly haunted) while I enjoy their plasma screen tv, whirlpool bathtub, and two precious puppies named Ellie and Kramer. I can't say I am really roughing it here! But there is something to be said for being in your own home, no matter what size it is. My prayers are with Lance and Sona that they make it home safely. It stinks getting stuck places.

So on to what has been taking place in my little part of the world the last month and a half!! Lots!! The holidays always seem to set us at warp speed where we run around like crazy to visit relatives, travel everywhere, and eat until we can no longer find where our waistline was! And if we let them, we can let the Holidays make us insane!! I have had my moments!!

I will have to admit that in the last 4 or 5 years I have developed into quite the Scrooge, not looking forward to the Holidays at all. They seemed to have lost their magic for me! But this year has proven to be quite different. Starting with Thanksgiving. This year the majority of our family got to spend 4 days at Mountain View Christian Camp in Ruidoso, New Mexico. The Georgetown Crew was not able to make it because they were waiting on the arrival of the precious little Jakob Hoelscher - Ryan and Megan's first little son! My cousins Amy and Paul and their girls are missionaries in Lima, Peru and the church that supports them runs the camp and graciously offered to let us use it for our Thanksgiving! What a blessing! Although a handful of us caught some kind of nasty stomach bug, the weekend was filled with so many blessings including celebrating our grandparents 60th wedding anniversary (What an accomplishment in this day and age!), sitting around a roaring bonfire in the mountains with four generations of Whitlow's sharing the things we were most thankful for this year, getting to be a part of the explosion of redheads in our family( soon we will take over, especially when Michael, Adam, and I start having kids), and getting to watch another generation of cousins playing together! It was great time!!

Then we move to Christmas! I can honestly say this was one of the best Christmas' I've had in quite sometime. This year I drove my Grandparents up to the snowy world of Denver, CO to spend Christmas with my Uncle Dow and Aunt Cindy's family. Luckily we got there right after their first big slam of snow and left before they got slammed again, so we got the better part of the deal and enjoyed to the beauty of a true White Christmas. There is just something about snow that makes Christmas so much more Christmasy! It was so much fun getting to be a part of a Christmas with little kids. There is just a certain magic kids bring to Holidays! I was overwhelmed with how welcome this branch of my family made me feel and I recognized yet again how incredibly blessed I am. I may not have had the smoothest road growing up, but the Father has scattered my journey with incredible blessings along the way! This Christmas was definately one of those blessings. I was overwhelmed by my family's welcoming and generosity, even when I was expecting nothing more than to just not be alone on Christmas! My cousin Angelee even bought us all matching pajama pants to wear on Christmas Eve. Hopefully soon I will have some pics to show just how adorable we all were! I am mindful that so many don't have the blessing of family, whether immediate or extended, to spend their holidays with. I am incredibly blessed!

Now it is on to a new year - 2007. My prayer is that 2007 fares a bit better than 2006, although now that I am on this side of 2006, I am aware that there were great blessings amidst the pain! The Father is so faithful!

On a sad note, my last game with the Amarillo Gorillas Hockey team is tomorrow night, New Year's Eve. I have been working the games for them this season in addition to my new full time job at Amarillo South Church, but I am just getting too busy, and sadly there are things I must say goodbye to. Tomorrow will be my final time to sing the National Anthem and run Game Ops as a member of the Amarillo Gorillas Staff!! I will walk away with great memories, great lessons learned, and an appreciation for the people I have been blessed to work with.

Ok enough of my reminiscent babbling!! Onto 2007 . . .

PAID OFF!!!!!!!

2006-11-15T09:25:00.000-06:00

Well kids, it's official!! As of about 5 minutes ago, I made my last car payment and I am now officially the owner of a 2000 White Saturn 3 Door Coupe!! It's mine!!! No more payments!!! WooHoo!!! Yippee!! I can't even believe it!! After 4 long years of forkin out $300 bucks a month, I am finally free. Now I get to pay $300 bucks a month to the Chelsey's Ireland Fund which is much more fun to donate to than the Car Payment fund!! Anyway I just thought I would share my overjoyed excitement with everyone!! WooHoo!!!

Our Fabulous Staff

2006-11-08T11:04:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to share a pic of our fabulous staff here at Amarillo South Church. These are such great people! I am overwhelmingly blessed to be working here. This pic was taken at our going-away party John Ott. We miss him and his fam!!

A Place I can Breathe . . .

2006-10-25T09:11:00.000-06:00

I know, I know, I should have updated last week.

Several of you have been hounding me to update and tell of my grand adventures in Colorado. When I returned last Monday I hit the ground running and I’m just now finding the time to sit down and tell my tales.

So on to Colorado . . .

First of all I will say that this chica definitely needed a vacation!! There is something supremely healing about the mountains to me. Nature always makes everything better for me. It’s like magic! A place I can breathe.

We arrived late Friday evening, after avoiding the extreme peril of almost killing a fat daddy raccoon and a trio of deer on the dark mountain road. MM and I decided that arriving that late at night is not the best choice on our part, not only because of the almost slaying of poor innocent forest creatures, but also because entering a dark, empty cabin in the middle of the night is very Horror Movie freaky!! Yet, we conquered our fears, entered quickly, and turned on every light in the cabin in a matter of seconds!! And thankfully that was really the only peril we faced our entire weekend ( less eventful than the last trip where we almost blew up the cabin and froze to death.)

The entire weekend was brilliant!! One of my favorite moments of the weekend was early Saturday morning. I got up before the sun, because I just couldn’t sleep. So I fixed myself a hot cup of Irish Breakfast tea, wrapped myself in a big fuzzy blanket, and watched the sun come up over the mountains next to the roaring stream next to the cabin. I don’t know how to describe it. It was like God created a painting, a brilliant moment, wrapped it up and handed it to me. Amazing. Our weekend was spent taking hikes, having lots of cups of tea, reading by the fire, and chatting with a good friend. You can’t get better than that.

So instead of writing about all the experiences we had, I am just going to include some photos. They will speak better of our adventures.

Cabin Life

2006-10-25T08:53:00.000-06:00

Relaxing after a long hike. Yea for toasty toes!
Our dear little teapot. I think we consumed enough tea for the Boston Tea Party.

Lunch by the Lake

2006-10-25T08:47:00.000-06:00

Views from a hike

2006-10-25T08:33:00.000-06:00

Images of Fall

2006-10-25T08:30:00.000-06:00

Contemplating existence

2006-10-25T08:27:00.000-06:00

Cuchara

2006-10-13T11:48:00.000-06:00

MOUNTAINS OF COLORADO - HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bring on the Cold

2006-10-11T10:01:00.000-06:00

It’s cold outside. About 46° cold. It is absolutely wonderful! I am sitting at my desk, snuggled up in my favorite gray Colorado sweatshirt and windpants, sipping a hot cup of Chai Tea. Everyone in the office is out to lunch, so I am enjoying a peaceful moment in a busy day.

I love the Fall. All the colorful, crunching leaves and the crisp bite to the air, it is one of my favorite times of year. If only I had a fireplace in my little home, then the picture would be complete.

The real reason for my great excitement is the event that will be taking place on Friday. I will be taking a much needed little escape to the mountains of Colorado with my friend Mary Margaret and I cannot wait. It is like when you are a child and you’re about to go to Disneyland or something, and you can’t sleep the week before because you’re just too excited!!! The mountains and the outdoors are like Disneyland to me and I get to go!! WooHoo!!! Hopefully this time, MM and I won’t almost blow the cabin up or almost get stuck in the mud! We are planning on a perilous-less trip, although you never can tell what kind of trouble we will get into next. I am sure I will have pics and a perilous tale to post upon my return. Until then I can only pray for the days to pass quickly . . .

Here is a pic of my dear friend and co-worker enjoying our steamy Fall beverages.

Taking the Plunge

2006-10-04T10:17:00.000-06:00

The trouble with having friends that are all uber-athletes is that they try and conform you to there evil fit ways!!! Never in my life have I known so many runners, cyclists, Ironman triathletes, adventure racers, and mountaineers!! Why can’t I have lazy, fast food eating friends that like to chill on the couch all day?!!! Oh no, I have to have the torturous active ones that eat organic food and vegetables and work out and stuff!! And the scary thing is that I am morphing into these freaks and I like it!!!!!!! What has my world come to!!!!!

So Saturday I took the plunge, literally! I learned how to swim. I know some of you are thinking, Seriously, you’re almost 30! Shouldn’t you already know how to swim?! The answer is yes, I do know how to swim. I mean if you throw me into the water, I won’t drown. But I am talking about real swimming, for exercise purposes, swimming laps, the cap, the goggles, the whole she-bang! And let me tell you, it kicked my butt! You think – oh it’s in the water, it can’t be as hard as running – WRONG!! Wow! That will show you real quick how out of shape you are!! Even when you’ve been working out on a regular basis!!

A good friend’s dad, who does triathlons, came out Saturday morning and taught me the basics of swimming for real. Even though, I am sure I looked like a complete idiot, he was very kind and said that there was potential there to be a great swimmer. Who knows, I might be another triathelete in the making!!! Ahhhhh! What a thought!!! Next thing you know I’ll be climbing Everest or running the New York Marathon!! You just never know!

Word of caution: Try and avoid making uber-atheletic friends, (especially those triatheletes) . . . You might just get sucked into the madness, before you even know what has happened to that lazy, couch loving, french fry eating girl you used to know and love!!! And worse than that, you just might like that new organic eating, working-out you!! J

Hope in a shattered state

2006-09-28T14:23:00.000-06:00

Bare with me while I wax philosophic . . .

Are we ever really comfortable with our present moment? Do we ever really arrive? At anything or anywhere? Or are we really just in constant motion, constant change; always having to adapt and survive? It seems just when you stop reeling from one blow another comes just after in its wake. When it rains, it pours, as they say.

So how, in the face of constant challenge and turbulence, do we find joy? How do we find peace? How do we balance on the precipice? How do we rest inside constant change?

2006 has already been a hell of a year. Since January I have run the gamut of storms that can slam into one’s life, from the impending death of my mom, a broken heart, job changes, health issues, and the breakdown of long buried scars. I say all of this, not to make a big deal of my own personal pain; but to say that I am not alone. Every time I turn around a friend or co-worker is dealing with things that are equally shattering to them – a single mom dealing with 3 kids, this person with cancer and this person going through a divorce or a death. It’s everywhere. I am not specific, I shouldn’t be held to a different sympathy standard just because I have had more or less pain in my life than someone else. We are all trying to make it through. It’s vicious and without the Lord, there is no purpose, only the taking away of ourselves piece by piece.

So what’s my point in sharing this? What’s the purpose in stating such harsh realities? Should we all just be depressed, lie down, and quit trying?

The answer, I am finding, is Hope, holding on to the hope that God is growing us up to be like Christ, no matter how painful . . .

It all ends up at God and sometimes we require breaking. There are simply times when the battle rages harder and we grow weaker. But isn’t it in our weakness that He is strong?

In the last two weeks, there have been several things that have come to a head in my little world of existence. I’m feeling pretty torn up and I am not alone, there are others walking many of these things out with me. Nothing is certain and nothing is safe, especially when we walk with the Lord. He often calls us into battle when we are at our weakest, at our most beaten up, bloodied and bruised from the battle the day before. People leave us, often a little emptier, we switch jobs, parents get sick and eventually die; relationships fall apart and we are called to keep moving even through the exhaustion. We are called to persevere. We are called to Faith. It doesn’t really make sense. We often don’t understand what is happening, why He chose a battle to teach us growth. We only hope that, as promised, good will come from the pain.

So I choose to pray through the growing pains and most importantly, to hope.

After all . . .

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete
Sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by Faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous,
Can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous
From a standpoint of our friend or foe
As from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love,
Which is forgiveness.

Reinhold Niebuhr

A Saturday Semi-Adventure

2006-09-20T10:23:00.000-06:00

I love adventure. And since I seem landlocked in Amarillo, TX for the time being I must get my fill of it through the stories and tales of others. One day, I am convinced, I will be the one telling the stories. But that is for another appointed time.

This weekend I went on a semi-adventure to Hastings to search for new stories to read. Spending a Saturday morning getting lost in the shelves of a bookstore with a steaming Irish Cream Latte in your hand is an experience everyone should take advantage of. It is magical.

So on to my quest . . .

After looking at what seemed hundreds of book covers and titles, scanning the backs for something to pop out and entice me to join the adventures within their pages, after my latte had long grown cold and morning had turned into early afternoon, I finally stumbled across the most genius of finds. The cover of said find lured me with its mysterious dark figure and haunting title and after reading its summary I was immediately hooked, sucked into the adventure and intrigued without even cracking the book. I grabbed my new find and headed toward the check out, anxious to get back to my lazy chair and begin unraveling the mystery. What made this treasure even sweeter was that upon purchasing, I was informed that it was, in fact, 30% off!! What luck!!! I promptly raced home and spent the rest of my Saturday on the couch wrapped up with a puppy named Eddie and my fabulous new adventure.

Now I am sure you are all wondering what the title of this great find is . . . well I suppose I will share the adventure and tell you. The name of my great find is The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafron. It is a story of a boy who finds a book by a mysterious author no one has heard of, in the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, then proceeds to go on a perilous quest to discover the authors identity. It is, in a word, Genius. If you like adventure, peril, and enigmatic characters, I highly suggest this book.

Although, I will suggest reading said adventure with a little dog named Eddie if possible, it makes the experience so much cozier.

May We Always Remember

2006-09-11T07:15:00.000-06:00

09.11.01

I am reminded today of how blessed we are, even in the face of war and tragedy. Regardless of political affiliation, right wing or left, Bush Administration or not, may we be mindful of those who are dying and have died for our freedom. They are the true heroes.

Anmchara Reunion '06

2006-09-06T07:33:00.000-06:00

This Labor Day weekend was the 6th annual Anmchara Reunion!! What is the Anmchara Reunion you ask? . . . Well for the last six years, starting in college, Jen (Wood) Whitehead, Lauren Prather and I have claimed Labor Day weekend as our own, filling it with traditions such as hot tamale eating, movie watching, talking til 3 am, and much merriment and dancing!! "Anmchara" is a celtic word meaning "soul friend" which is how we have chosen to describe our friendship. I am reminded each time we get together how incredibly blessed I am to have such amazing friends. They are some of the best friends in the whole world!!! It is such a comfort to know that there are people out there that know who you really are, not just the mask you put on for the masses. Those friends who you watch you act like a total idiot dancing around your apartment at 2am with no makeup and a facial mud masque on and still take you seriously when you wake up the next day. That can't happen by accident. That is a true blessing for the Lord!!

So I shall now share with you a few of our fabulously hilarious pics from the weekend.

First of all, here is a picture of the weather this weekend. It seems every Labor day we get together, the weather is rainy and cold. I personally love it!! Bring on the cold!!!

Here are the three of us in scary face masks!! What girls we are!!!!

Here is Lauren taking a siesta on the couch. That's what we get for staying up til 3 am every night!

I just have a little efficiency apartment and I love it, but three people can take up a small space very quickly, so here is where everything ended up each day when we got up and moving. I am convinced that cots on the dining room table will be the new wave in home decor! ;) For more hilarious and perilous pics of the cot and an incident with Jen, you can check out more pics on Lauren's blog at http://lauren527.blogspot.com

I will try to post some more pics later. Blogger won't let me post anymore. You can check out more on Lauren's blog!

Cheers!!

Getting lost in Worship

2006-08-24T09:05:00.000-06:00

I have been blessed by being surrounded by some pretty incredible individuals. God knows that I love being around off-beat, interesting, and spectacular people. Yesterday our worship leader Duane came into our office, singing a tune, to get some stuff he had printed. My ears always perk up when he comes around. He always has a new tune or arrangement or new cd that I hadn’t heard of. As he was walking out of the office, he asked me to follow him. I don’t know how many of you have heard of the Passion cd’s or the conference, but it is incredible and the worship is out of this world (check them out at www.268generation.com). There is a possibility I might get to go to the conference this January. I am way pumped!! Anyway Duane had in his possession the Passion ’06 DVD. So he shared with me a particular Chris Tomlin song that for some reason just really struck a chord in me. I would like to share the lyrics with you guys. It reminds me that there is more to who we are than the things we seem to get caught up in. We were created to worship Him in everything we do. And to get lost in that thought is such a comfort somehow. Anyway enough waxing philosophic, here are the lyrics. Sorry I can’t actually attach the song. It has not been released on a cd yet, but you can watch a video of the song on www.worshiptogether.com

Chris Tomlin - Made To Worship
Before the day
Before the light
Before the world revolved around the sun
God on high
Stepped down into time
And wrote the story of His love for everyone

He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember

You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
You and I will see who we were meant to be

All we are
And all we have
Is all a gift from God that we receive
Brought to life
We open up our eyes
To see the majesty and glory of the King

He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember

You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
You and I will see who we were meant to be

And even the rocks cry out
And even the Heavens shout
At the sound of His holy name
So let every voice sing out
And let every knee bow down
He is worthy of all our praise

You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free, yeah
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe

You and I will see, you and I will see
You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free, yeah
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
You and I will see who we were meant to be

Surprises, Soap, & Second Heaven

2006-08-16T09:12:00.000-06:00

So I have finally slowed down enough this week to give an update of the recent happenings in the life of me! It has been eventful!

Some of the greatest moments in life are those that surprise us, lift us from the dark places we were in, and renew our hope. On Friday I braved the airways (without my trusty chapstick – blast those terrorists!!), courtesy of my bestest friend LouLou Weaks, to surprise our bestest friend Emily Beckett Key for her birthday! What fun that was!! I highly encourage all of you to just randomly show up on a friend’s doorstep and yell surprise!! It is ever so much fun! So my weekend was filled with silliness, laughter, a grand mall excursion, The Cheesecake Factory, and Starbucks!

There are two stores we encountered that I must make mention of. The first is a fabulous store called Melt. You can check out their products on http://www.meltproducts.com/ . The store is full of all sorts of natural bath salts and lotions and scrubs and soaps. It is awesome!! I purchased a bar of soap titled Adriatic Fig, which smells absolutely heavenly. Em purchased sugar scrub of the same fragrance and we gave ourselves pedicures later on that evening. I am telling you this stuff is genius and amazing.

The second store of mention would be Dick’s Sporting Goods. Now I am a huge fan of REI, in fact it is like my version of heaven, and I have to say that Dick’s Sporting Goods ranks a close second now. Any place with a rock wall in the middle of it that you can climb is the store for me. Unfortunately, I did not get to take advantage of said climbing wall because I decided to hyperextend my knee playing ultimate Frisbee a couple weeks ago, so I wasn’t allowed! Oh well there is always next time. Anyway I was in 2nd heaven for some fleeting moments while perusing all the genius outdoor items they had there.

The weekend was a success and luckily I was blessed with good flights and no irate Airplane passengers like some of the other flights had. In other news we have a new addition to our family. Aharon Daniel Nesbitt was born yesterday at 3:28pm weighing 7lb 11oz. So now Ethan is a big brother. Hopefully I will get to see him soon and have pics to post.

I guess that is all the news I have for now. I suppose I should get back to working!!!

Cheers!!!

The Prather Invasion

2006-08-08T15:26:00.000-06:00

I cannot tell you how great it is when your best friends come to visit!!!! Especially when they bring cute little balls of hilarity to entertain you! Scott, Lauren, and Will Pill Prather came to see me twice this last weekend as they were travelling to and from Scott's 10 year high school reunion,(it's crazy that we are getting that old; mine is next summer! AHHHH). Anywho, I have just received some oh so adorable pics from their little visit and I thought I would share them with all of you. The pics are a little rough of me, but hey it was late, and Will is just too cute. So with out further ado, here are the fabulous pics from the Prather Invasion . . .

Good Friends & Sore Muscles

2006-08-04T14:57:00.000-06:00

So again, it has taken me forever to update my stinkin blog!! I know that I am horrible about keeping up with this thing!! Please don’t hate me those of you who actually read this crazy thing!

My life continues in it’s never-ending insane pace, always going, doing, and running!!

So what is it I have to report from this crazy life of mine . . .

Today I am exhausted!! Last night two of my best friends in the world and their adorable little munchkin came and stayed with me. Scott, Lauren, and Will Prather graced my presence and I must say it was a much needed visit. I have come to understand how valuable good friends are, especially in times when you feel you are about to fall apart! Needless to say, when hanging with old friends, there is much talking and catching up and laughing to do; so going to bed on time really wasn’t an option!! But how wonderful it is to sit on a patio, watching the rain come down, while partaking of the fantasticness that is Bahama Bucks!! (All my Lubbock friends will know what I am talking about with the BB Fantasticness!!) I am convinced that God will bring you exactly what you need at the perfect time! I was so in need of old friends!! There are times in life when the only cure for heartache is the laughter and company of old friends!!! Fortunately for me, they will be coming back through on Sunday and staying with me again!!! Hooray for me!!
Maybe I will have pics to post from their return visit of the ever so adorable William and family!! Until then you can check them out on their blog- pratherplace.blogspot.com

In other news . . . I am getting my rear kicked!! God has blessed me with two amazing women here at the Church who are willing to get up with me at 5:30 in the morning to pump iron and attempt to kill ourselves running on the treadmill! We are striving to enter the world of the svelte and ripped!! Despite the fact that I am walking around have the time in intense muscular soreness, I feel great and perhaps soon I will take over the world!!! Someday this could be me . . .

Celebrating My Freedom

2006-07-06T09:55:00.000-06:00

I have discovered the perfect way to celebrate my well fought for Freedom as an American: Complete and Total Laziness!!!!!

My 2006 Fourth of July was spent stretched out in my recliner, clothed in the loveliness of pajamas, glued to the television as visions of Braveheart, Green Street Hooligans, Pride and Prejudice, and King Kong flooded my brain, (most likely turning it to mush). It was a glorious day!!!!! The only thing breaking me from my reclusive movie gorged state was my friends Bill and Leslie demanding I take a shower and put real clothes on and then proceeding to drag me from my home so I could enjoy the grand tradition of frisbee and fireworks at the park!!

So I propose that all should join in this grand experience! What better way to celebrate our blessed freedom than by "freely" doing absolutely nothing!!! God Bless the USA!!!

In other areas of interest - I love my new job!!! What a blessing this has been! In just under two weeks I have been proven to over and over that God had a specific purpose in placing me here. I have already found a group of individuals that share my obessions with Starbucks, U2, and unconvential Christian thinking!! I am home! Add to that the fact that I can wear flip flops everyday and basically you've found me in heavan!!

So even though there still remains large amounts of chaos in my life, I cannot deny the enormous amount of blessing I find myself in the middle of!! God is good!!

And to conclude my post today I will share with you guys out there in blog world two excessively adorable pics of my little cousins!! The first pic is of little Ethan and I at my good friend Heather's wedding!! I will again state that he loves me the best!!! ;) The second pic is prove that someday redheads are going to take over the world!!! I will introduce to you Elena and Katelyn Dowell of Lima, Peru (my cousin Amy's girls).

Weddings, Futbol, and Moving On . . .

2006-06-19T14:03:00.000-06:00

Ok, ok, I know I have been terribly horrible about updating my blog. I think it has been about a month since my last post!! But I have excuses I promise!!! I'm not just being lazy!!

In the last month my life has continued on it's whirlwind path!! I've had my dear friend Heather's wedding to help organize and be in (hopefully I will have pictures to post soon, she was a beautiful bride!). Plus, the last couple of weeks I have been engulfed in WORLD CUP SOCCER!!!!

I have decided that everyone should be excited about this event!! I have become quite the fan! It is actually kind of ridiculous!! I mean I actually know stuff like lingo and statistics and players names and clubs they play for!! I can't even say that I know that much about Hockey and I've worked for a hockey team for 2 1/2years!!

Speaking of working for a Hockey team for 2 1/2 years . . .

Well this is actually some very bittersweet news to report. After almost three glorious seasons with the Amarillo Gorillas Hockey Team, God has decided it is time for me to have other adventures elsewhere. Tomorrow will be my last day of work with the Gorillas. I have loved and hated it! The Wild World of Sports is a tough business full of long hours and those big bucks the athletes make are gone by the time the Staff is paid! But it has been a lot of fun too! I have had some once in a lifetime experiences and have lots of stories to tell now. As far as cool jobs go, I would have to say this tops my list, for now anyway! I'm not dead yet.

So what will I be doing now that I am leaving the Gorillas, you ask? Where has God led me next? Have I won the Lottery, met a sugar daddy, discovered a trust fund from a rich, dead relative? How in the world will I ever survive? All good questions and here my friends is the answer - very much un-glorious compared with some of the above possibilities - After some very serious prayer, I have accepted and will start work at my church, Amarillo South, working in the office and helping out in various areas. After some much needed vacation I will be starting next Monday the 26th. I am very excited about it because I really feel God at work in this move. I have a feeling some very exciting and unexpected things are in store for me!! He is so very faithful in the way He orchestrates my life! One very positive thing about this job is that I will have a better and much more stable income, not dependent on Hockey Season and ticket sales, which will afford me the oppurtunity to finally save and visit my one true love next summer - IRELAND!!!!!!!!

So we shall see what kinds of adventures I will have to report in this next chapter of my life . . .

A Little Monkey

2006-05-12T11:09:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to share with everyone a pic of my cute little Cousin/ Pseudo Nephew Ethan Nesbitt, aka EfanCakes. I gave him this jersey last week when He and his mom Jen came to visit me here at the Gorilla's Office. His mom said he refused to take the jersey off! A future Gorilla Fan in the making!! Isn't he adorable?!!!

Cosmic God Lottery

2006-05-05T09:58:00.000-06:00

Do you ever just have one of those really great weeks?! The kind of week that just sticks out from a string of blurry, stressed out, rip your hair out kind of weeks! The kind of week that can be compared to a breath of fresh air, when it seems you have hit the Cosmic God Lottery or something!!

That was last week for me. It's like God was saying, here, have some blessings, some little presents in the midst of your storm! My fantastic week included a ridiculously expensive shopping spree (free for me), a ridiculously expensive Ironman Triathalon Timex watch that records workouts and my heart rate delivered to my mailbox for signing up for some free promotion on Self Magazine's website (which is amazing because I never win anything), my first professional recording of a song I wrote, free groceries, and several wonderful experiences with God given friends that are relentless in their encouragement to help me be a better person (Heather G. gets big kudos on this one for kicking my butt at the gym)!

All in all not a bad week I'd say. God is good! And to think I deserve nothing and He still showers me with blessing after blessing! Thank you Jesus!!

I hope that everyone of you enjoys a wonderful week filled with blessings, large and small!!

Inevitable New Shirt Dilema

2006-05-02T14:32:00.000-06:00

Here is just a random question to throw out there into the universe. Why is it, the first day you wear a brand new shirt, inevitably you drop something on it? For instance today, I am wearing a new bright green shirt and while enoying a tasty Mexican lunch I drop a huge blob of hotsauce right down the front of it! I mean seriously, why does this always happen!!? Am I the only one who struggles with this new shirt dilema? Really there is no point to this post, except to share my Hot Sauce Fiasco!!

Chelsey Whitlow - Supposed Professional

2006-04-26T17:21:00.000-06:00

So it has been awhile since I have updated and I have been catching some flack from some of you! So here I am updating to appease those powers that be!

Lots has happened in the last couple of weeks. The most notable of which is my new job!! I have been with the Gorillas for 2 years now serving as their Office Manager and Game Ops Guru (along with National Anthem Singing Extraodinaire). As of Monday, I am now the Director of Ticketing! This is a big promotion with lots of oppurtunities and responsibilities. I am excited about it but completely freaked about too! Ticket and Group Sales (which is what I am responsibile for) is really the core back bone for this whole organization. And that my friends, is on my shoulders!!! This a big deal! I will be supervising people and reporting to the League and selling stuff and ordering stuff and all kinds of crazy things! But God has proved faithful in my life always and I know that He will guide me through and help me learn and succeed! But I definately just went from being bored most of the time to absolute chaos!! So any prayers you would like to offer up on my behalf would be greatly appreciated!! On the lighter side of that, I am excited because I get an office with actual walls, a company cell phone, vacation, and business cards now!! WooHoo! So watch out! Here comes Miss Professional!!

In other news . . .

My summer seems to be shaping up quite nicely as far as events go. My good friend Heather Golightly is getting married and I get to be a part of that celebration! I get to go to Scottsdale, AZ to a fancy hotel resort for a very important Central Hockey League Conference for free in June! And the most exciting event of all, with building anticipation is my excursion on July 7th with my beautiful friend Ashlan and Red Sox Fan, to Boston, Mass for a Dave Matthews Band Concert at Fenway Park!! That's right! Me, Dave Matthews Band and Fenway Park!!! Could life get any better?!!!

So there is my life in a nutshell, seemingly always consumed by the world of Hockey! But hey if I do really well and make a lot of money I can finally get to Ireland and meet my Soccer Player. So I suppose there is value in hard work! ;)

Until next time . . . Cheers!

The Plight of a fair skinned Redhead

2006-04-11T14:19:00.000-06:00

One would think that after 27 years of being a redhead I would have figured out that I should wear sunscreen!! But somehow I have managed, at the beginning of every spring, to forget that little detail and I always fry myself at least once!! That's what I get for relaxing in a reclining lawn chair on a fine spring day!! Just thought I would share a pic of the aftermath of my fine Spring Day on Sunday. There are several of you out there that are probably shaking your heads in disgust at me!! I know I know, I should know better!! :)

He Chases after His chosen

2006-04-07T08:53:00.000-06:00

I apologize in advance, this is a long one.

The Lord speaks. Very plainly, if we are willing to listen.

Last night I went to one of the most amazing concerts I have ever experienced. Not because I liked the songs or the artists (which of course I did), but because God used two guys with guitars and a drummer to take me to His throne! A place of worship I have not experienced in quite some time. I was, to put it mildly, blown away by the breath of God. He spoke.

What was even more incredible to me was that He continued to speak even after I got home. I bought two CD’s while at the concert, really just expecting some new music to add to my vast collection. But when I got home He just kept nudging me and this time His words pierced with a purpose.

I popped one of the CD’s entitled Clean, into my cd player and sat down on the couch to write in my journal. Several songs passed and then something (Him) stopped me and song # 9 began to flood over me. My breath was caught in my throat the whole song. He did that, orchestrated a moment and spoke, to me, little me in my chaotic world. He sent a quiet moment to say I love you, daughter. Of course, immediately tears began to stream. But this sweet gift was not meant for only me. Immediately he spoke my mom’s name into my heart. This song was for her to, something I have wished for her for a long time and I plan on sharing it with her this afternoon.

My mom is dying. She has fought a long hard battle, but just doesn’t have much time left with us. Many of you have been praying for her for a very long time. Thank you. God hears every word, so please continue to pray. It’s not over yet!
My beautiful Aunt Charise (whom I could not do any of this without) and I have been fighting along with her and have recently had to make some very difficult decisions. We could not have done it without the Father’s hand so very evidently moving through this whole battle. But her body is just giving out and it is her turn to go home. My biggest hope for her before she leaves us, is that she will find what she has always been searching for in the arms of our Savior. That she finds peace and a much needed rest from a pain I will never be able to fathom.

I cannot believe that all of this sorrow and suffering if for naught. There is a very definite purpose, although I do not always see it. Our God is a loving God and I believe He chases after His chosen. He’s chasing her. I pray she allows herself to be captured. I

I am writing all of this in an effort to explain the blessing of a moment. I would like to share with you guys how the Lord spoke to me last night, through a verse and a song by Shane and Shane, in hopes that it will encourage you in your own journeys. And ask for this prayer for my mom in the final steps of her journey. That she will call Him friend and lover and marry Him for good. That she will sing as in the days of her youth as he leads her away.

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. ‘In that day,’ declares the LORD,’you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master. (Hosea 2:14-16)

ACRES OF HOPE
by Shane Barnard and Robbie Seay

He will allure her
He will pursue her
And call her outTo wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding
Beat up and hurting
Deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Here in the valley
Walk close beside me
Don’t look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead
You have called me master
And though you’re in the dark here
Call me friend
And call me lover and marry me for good

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

How the story ends is
Love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it
So the valley’s up ahead
Or the ones we live
We’ll sing together
We’ll sing together

We will sing
We will sing
Oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

May all of you be blessed by our Father today, May you delight in being chased and may you delight even more in being captured by His love.

Top Tens . . .

2006-04-06T13:29:00.000-06:00

Thought this would be fun to share . . .

10 F A V O R I T E S
TV show: Grey's Anatomy
Flower: Tigerlily
Movie: Braveheart
Color: SilverSport:
Hockey or Soccer
Mall: None
Music: No way I can narrow that down
Food: Bread - which I am not supposed to have anymoreSeason: Fall

1 0 F A C T S
Hometown: Amarillo,TX
Hair color: Red
Hair length: Medium to Short
Hair style: Today it doesn't matter because the wind is blowing 90 miles an hour
Eye color: Green/Gray
Shoe size: 9.5 or 10
Mood: bored
Sexuality: Heterosexual

1 0 L O V E L I F E
Have you ever been in love: yes
Do you believe in love?: yes
Why did your last relationship fail?: I plead the Fifth
Have you ever been heartbroken?: YES
Have you ever broken someones heart?: I don't think so
Have you ever fallen for your best friend?: sorta
Are you planning on getting married?: Someday perhaps if I can find someone that isn't afraid of me
Are you afraid of commitment?: Some have called me a committment-phobic but I have no idea what they are talking about ;)

1 0 T H I S O R T H A T S
Love or lust?: Love
Hard liquor or beer?: Guinness
Hook-ups or relationship?: Relationships
T.V. or internet?: TV
Pepsi or coke?: Coffee
Wild night out or romantic night in? romantic night in
Saturday or Sunday?: SaturdayColored or black and white picture?: Black and white
Phone or in person?: In person, I am not much of a phone person

1 0 H A V E Y O U E V E R S
Have you ever been caught sneaking out?: No, never had to, my dad was always out later than I was - Yea for hippie parents
Have you ever skinny dipped?: yes
Have you ever done something you regret?: Not that I can think ofHave you ever bungee jumped?: Yes
Have you ever been on a house boat?: yes
Have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker?:yes
Have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt?: yesHave you ever stayed up all night til the sun came up?:yes
Have you ever been caught by your parents with a hickey?: no
Have you ever been caught by your parents doing anything more than making out?: NO

10 A R E Y O U S
Are you missing someone right now?: yes, all my friends from school
Are you in love with anyone?: Not today
Are you happy?: Mostly
Are you talking to anyone right now?: No
Are you bored?: YES
Are you German?: no
Are you Irish?: 100%
Are you Italian?: no
Are your parents still married?: no
Do you like someone right now?: If by someone you mean all my fabulous friends then ABSOLUTELY

Playoff Madness

2006-03-30T10:46:00.000-06:00

The Winning Shot

We made it!! The Amarillo Gorillas Hockey team made it to the Central Hockey League Playoffs for the 4th consecutive year!!( One of only tw0 teams that has done that in CHL History) We play the Odessa Jackalopes in Round One.

Our office has been a madhouse!! Selling tickets, ripping tickets, planning entertainment, designing t-shirts, selling, doing, not sleeping!! All of this within a 3 day period! It is nuts, but absolutely brilliant!!!!! The excitement, the rush!!! It came down to the very last game of our season, before we knew for sure that we had made it! The guys were all keyed up before the game Sunday and so were the fans! There was just nervous energy throughout the building! I had to sing the National Anthem and my mic went out, but the coolest thing happened. The entire stadium started singing for me! And since they all know me because I sing so much, they started singing along exactly the way I do, right along with me. It was amazing!! They all pulled together, even the players were singing! I actually got a little choked up! And that just set the mood for an intense game and eventual clinching of a playoff seat!!! So I guess it is hockey a little longer for me!!! WooHoo!!

Here are Ashlan(my right hand chica) and I in our official Game Ops gear before the game!!

Good Friends

2006-03-23T08:58:00.000-06:00

Through the last couple of months, as many of you know, I have been in the middle of a battle with my mom and her life. It has been one of the most difficult times in my life, but God continues to blow me away with blessings in the middle of the storm. I have been truly blessed with some of the most amazing friends that a girl could ever ask for, friends that are willing to fight right along side me. That is a humbling and uplifting realization!! I am so grateful to be loved like that. The Father is so good to me!! So if you are as blessed as I am with amazing God-sent friends, tell them so today!!

In the last month or so I have had the privelage of having several of those fabulous friends come and visit me. Jen came in Feb. Then Lauren and Will. Then Lindsey and Emily came for my birthday! So I would like to share some crazy photos of some of my favorite people! I don't have any pics of Will and Lauren yet because she hasn't sent me any!! Hint hint L! :) But here are some pics from Lou and Em's visit and our fabulous adventures at The Big Texan!!

The Big Texan Steak Ranch - Home of the 72oz. Steak

Em and Lou with the giant Cow. Yea for steak!!

Need I say more?

Old ladies in Cracker Barrel Rocking Chairs

Lou and I on ice.

Lou and Em in the Penalty Box.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2006-03-17T09:29:00.000-06:00

It is my favorite day of the year today!! St. Patrick's Day!! Yeah, yippee, woohoo!!! So break out the green kids, dance a little jig, pinch someone who isn't in the spirit, and laugh as much as you can!! May you all find your day filled with luck, laughter, and blessings!!!

May the light always find you on a dreary day.

When you need to be home, may you find your way.

May you always have courage to take a chance

And never find frogs in your underpants.

Slainte!!!

A good cup of coffee

2006-03-10T09:42:00.000-06:00

I am generally the first one in the office every morning by at least 30 minutes. This morning I came in a few minutes earlier than usual in search of a few moments of rest without the distraction of the thousand things I need to do at home. So I sat down at my desk this morning with a good, strong cup of Roaster's coffee and the silence of a dark, empty office. It was a much needed moment. I believe it is in those moments, when we actually stop and savor something good, like a hot cup of good coffee, that we have the greatest clarity, the greatest peace, and we can actually meet God for a conversation. These moments are rare in busy people's lives, but there is a great need to fight for them, to earnestly seek them out as often as we can. So I am sending out a prayer that you guys will all find a moment in your day today, to just sit and savor something good and in turn Praise God for that blessing! He is so good to us!

Life as we get older and serious prayer

2006-03-09T09:39:00.000-06:00

The last few days have been a true blessing and a heavy burden as well. I have been able to enjoy one of my best friends in the whole world Lauren Prather and her wonderful little son Will. I have had so much fun with them! The friends I made at LCU cannot be measured and I always feel so blessed when I get to spend time with them. I am sure I will have pics to post later of Will and Lauren and I and the grand times that were had!! Sadly, in a few hours, they will be leaving me to go back to Lubbock and then back home to Big Spring.

It is still somehow a little bit unbelieveable that I have friends with children and real grown up jobs and responsibilities! Should we really be this old? Even more unbelieveable is that I will, in 5 days, officially be 3 years away from 30. Where did all that time go? I feel like I just graduated from college (albeit almost 4 years ago)

Yet as much as the reality of responsibilities and children and getting closer to 30 baffles me, I look around and like what I see. I like what the Father has done in my life, the ways in which He has "grown me up" little by little and what He has done in the lives of the people I love so much! What a faithful and loving God we serve!

But with that growth comes the growing pains and the hardship, and that is where I shall leave this entry today, with a prayer request. Many of you know the struggles that my family has been through concerning my mom and her health. My aunt Charise and I continue to be in a state of limbo concerning her life and death. Currently she is in the hospital awaiting a definite answer on whether or not they will do surgery to remove several kidney stones that are attached to her kidney walls. In this waiting period, she is also battling major infection, borderline pneumonia, and a bloodclot in her leg. We thought a couple of months ago that she would be gone from this earth by now, but the Father has graciously given us more time with her and it has proven to be a sweet time of healing concerning the past and our relationship. But with that time, there has also come some serious decisions that need to be made and I feel so ill prepared to make such decisions. Again, should we really be this old? So I ask that you pray for her and her peace with the Lord and for myself and my aunt, that we will have clarity and will be guided in the right decisions. The Lord is faithful and I am convinced he has a plan in all of this. I just wish he'd let us know what it was sometimes.

May the Lord Bless and Keep all of You!!!

Anmchara

2006-03-07T15:08:00.000-06:00

Interstate 27 between Lubbock and Amarillo, TX, presently carries precious cargo! Lauren Prather and my little "nephew" Will are on their way to see me and I am so excited!!! Especially because I have not seen him since Jen (Wood) Whitehead's wedding. That means there is a lot of love that needs catching up on!! Woohoo!! Here are two pics from Jen's wedding of Lauren and I and then of Will and I. I think I am telling him a story of singing to him, but I am making a weird face!! Anyway hopefully this weekend I will have more pics to post of little Will and Lauren and I!!

The Perilous Adventures of MM and Chelsey

2006-03-01T08:27:00.000-06:00

Well sometimes you just have to laugh at life! If you don't laugh at it, you might just fall to pieces!!

My weekend of outdoor fun is over and it is back to the grind of adulthood. My trip to Colorado was wonderful, though filled with one comic mishap after another. Two girls in the woods alone makes for quite the adventure and since there were no white knights to rescue us in the general vicinity, we had to tackle the peril ourselves and I must say we did a fine job!!

When we got to the cabin we had to turn everything on like the water under the house, the heat and hot water heater and light a fire in the fireplace, all normal cabiny things, right? Any intelligent, industrious human, like ourselves, could do it, right? simple as pie, right? WRONG! After following the directions carefully left for us, we proceeded to almost flood the cabin, blow the cabin up, and had visions of MM's parents finding us three weeks later frozen together in front of the fireplace with bottles of wine frozen to our hands (bit dramatic I know)! Well quite impressively I might add, I came to the rescue as far as the fireplace goes! I have now been dubbed the Fire Master!!! Never in my life, even in all my camping experience, have I, Chelsey Whitlow, ever built a fire, much less actually kept one going for an extended period of time. So calling on all my intellectual and primitive resources I built a fire, a darn good fire, and kept it going for what seemed hours on end!! I triumphed, I conquered!! Watch out world, I am the Fire Master!!! (ok again probably a little dramatic) Now we move on to the blowing up the cabin part. After an hour and a half of trying to get the pilot light lit and filling the cabin with the odious odor of natural gas we gave up! (The stupid pilot was possessed I totally believe, because really how hard is it to light a pilot light?!) So we proceeded to call in a hero, a 60 year grandpa, pilot lighting hero, not quite the hot mountain men we were hoping for, but never the less a hero! And finally at 10:30pm we sat down to a warm house and a warm meal and began to wonder what else could go wrong . . . (we sound like total girls, don't we?)

Needless to say, even after battling between hot water and heat in the cabin for the rest of the weekend, almost getting stuck in the mud on an obscure, abandoned mountain road whitle trying to find a place to hike, burning a pan, and hoping not to blow up the cabin, we had a marvelous time!! The mountains were beautiful! We got to take the most amazing hike up the mountain, through the snow, sip wine while gazing up at a clear star filled mountain sky, and we both had some amazing prayer time, so the trip was not a total loss at all! God blessed the trip, despite the string of comedic mishaps and forlorn misadventures!!! And I suppose as long as I am in the mountains, nothing can really put a damper on my time there, because after all, I am in the mountains and I can never be sad or distraught while in the mountains!!

My crazy weekend was then followed by a most crazy Monday!! I woke up to a dead battery in my car and had to have my dad come pick me up for work and as I sat there in my freezing car at 8:15 in the morning, I just had to start laughing!

Sometimes you just have to laugh at life or you really will fall to pieces!!!

Cheers!!

Colorado Here I come and Hockey Fun!

2006-02-23T14:50:00.000-06:00

So Tomorrow at this time I will be in a cozy mountain cabin gazing at the snow capped Colorado Rockies and listening to the gentle murmur of a mountain stream with the smell of crisp, cool air invading my nostrils!! WooHoo!!! I love the mountains!!!!

For now I am at work simply dreaming of playing in the mountains! We got our pictures back from our team photographer Jim Peak for Texas Pride weekend and I have chosen a select few for your viewing pleasure. Bud Light was our game night sponsor and they decided to do a Paper Rock Scissors Tournament during one of the intermissions. So I got to be an official ref!!
Here I am singing the Anthem on Live TV!!

Here is a pic of the Three Girls in the Office. Me, Mika, and Stacy before we were going to judge the Rock Paper Scissors Competition. Aren't we festive? This was Mika's last game and we are all a little sad! :(

Here I am judging, very seriously, the Rock Paper Scissors Competition!! I love my job!

Yea for the wonderful world of Hockey!!! And the best part of this game was that we won in a shootout against Laredo ( the team that beat us out of the 2nd round of playoffs last year!!)

Mundane Monday

2006-02-20T15:53:00.000-06:00

It is Monday once again and this day seems to drag on and on. . . and after the insanely busy weekend I have just come out of I could really use a nap!!

This weekend was Texas Pride Weekend with the Amarillo Gorillas Hockey Team. We played Friday and Saturday nights and won both our games against two difficult teams, going into overtime both games, and inching us closer and closer to the Playoffs!!! Between Boy Scout Troops, a jersey auction, a Bud Light Rock Paper Scissors Competition, almost crashing the Team four wheeler because an opposing team hockey player stepped right in front of me thinking himself too funny, forgetting where I was in the middle of singing the national anthem on live tv, and a post game concert by a really awesome local band - I am pooped on this fine Monday afternoon and could really use a vacation or Starbucks through IV!!!

Plus on Sunday I helped my wonderful friend Heather Golightly, soon to be Kouba, paint and move furniture into her new home!! Painting used muscles I haven't used for awhile, creating quite some soreness!!

We have no games until March 3 so this week is going to be the most uneventful of the season with nothing to prepare for awhile! Luckily I have the promise of a much needed weekend jaunt to the Mountains of Colorado to get me through the boredom!!!!! My wonderful fabulous friend Mary Margaret and I are going to her family's cabin in Cuchara, CO. (Hopefully there will be snow) So I will be spending my weekend by a cold mountain stream with a warm fire blazing and the smell of fresh mountain air!!! Ahhhhh . . . is there anything better? I can't imagine what it is like to be one of those people who hate the outdoors!!! I love being outside!!!!! Yea for the mountains!!!! I must move there someday and live in a cabin with a mountain stream and a fireplace and plenty of places to go climbing!! WooHOO!! Yea for going to the mountains on Friday!!!!!

Happy New Pantalones Day!!!!

2006-02-14T09:26:00.000-06:00

HAPPY NEW PANTALONES DAY EVERYONE!!!

Well that special time of year has once again come upon us . . . New Pantalones Day!! Whether you are young or old, single or taken, New Pantalones Day is a happy alternative to the overly marketed, consumer trapping holiday called Valentine's Day! Why not be different? Why not buy the one you love something other than chocolate and flowers, teddy bears and jewlery? Why not say You're great with the ultimate in comfort, the pajama pant?!

Today is NPD's 5th anniversary! Started five years ago by a group of fabulous chicks (some single, some taken) at LCU, as an alternative to V-day, so we could all get a present on Feb. 14th!! I mean why not create a new holiday just for the heck of it! So if you have a special someone, be it friend or more than a friend run out today and buy them the traditional NPD gift - Pajama Pants!!!(HINT: Old Navy is a great place for such a purchase) I now have an extensive and vibrant collection of pajama pants, all from some of my most favorite and amazing friends!!!

So if you're single and hate Valentine's Day or even if you're not and you don't, celebrate today for the blessings God has granted you in your friends and family!!! Tell 'em how much you love 'em and celebrate the miracle that is The PAJAMA PANT!!!!

TGIF

2006-02-10T10:24:00.000-06:00

Thank God it's Friday!!!!

Well the weekend is finally here!! This is the first weekend since October that I have had absolutely no games!! Let the celebration begin!! And what shall I do with this rare freedom? Well, I am thinking sleeping in all weekend sounds like the most fabulous idea!! We shall see what kind of mischief I can get myself into!!!

My good friend Jen (Wood) Whitehead will be joining me in mischief making this weekend, as she is coming for a visit. I am very excited to have company join me on a weekend off!!! I even cleaned my apartment, vaccumed and everything! Sadly the majority of my fabulous LCU friends will be in Lubbock for MasterFollies weekend!! Unfortunately I cannot attend this year with my mom in the state she is in right now. I just can't leave town. But I will be cheering from afar! Ahh the good ole days of MasterFollies practice and acting ridiculous on stage!! You really can't get away with that now in the real world! Too bad I do it anyway! Who really wants to grow up anyhow?!

So good luck and break a leg to all the MasterFollies people!!!!!!

Speaking of Mrs. Whitehead. . . here is a photo from her wonderful wedding last June taken by the marvelous and beautiful Lauren Prather. This is one of my favorite pics and so I wanted to share it, even though it is old. In this pic, Scott Prather, Jen, and I are showing off our extremely blue tongues, turned that vibrant color by Sam Whitehead's blue icing groom's cake!! It was really good cake!!!

Tuesday and the Ice Dancing Fiasco!

2006-02-07T15:34:00.000-06:00

Well it is Tuesday! My favorite day of the week!!! WooHoo for Tuesdays!!!! We have no games this weekend, so currently the office is completely dead and there is nothing to do! Earlier this morning I had the most entertaining experience of the year!!! Feb. 17th-18th is Texas Pride Weekend with the Amarillo Gorillas. On the 18th we will have Special Texas Flag jerseys. So today we had to shoot the commercial to advertise for said weekend. Our genius broadcaster and assistant general manager came up with the idea that they wanted the entire Gorillas Hockey team to do some sort of country dance out on the ice with their full gear and skates on! So guess who got volunteered to teach 20 fully geared up Hockey players how to do the Cotton Eye Joe on the ice?!! It was the most mortifying and hilarious experience to date in my life. Just the mental image alone conjures some serious hilarity!! And I actually got to see it in person!!! It was a beautiful sight and I got cheered on by 20 hot guys for outstanding dance skills! What a great Tuesday!!!!

My Team

2006-02-04T13:45:00.000-06:00

Here is a pic from our Christmas party. Go Gorillas!!!

Game Day Madness

2006-02-04T13:39:00.000-06:00

Well it is gameday and it has been absolute madness in the office!! I find myself in a rare moment of silence. Maybe now would be a good time to breathe! Tonight is Interstate Battery Race Night and I might just get to ride in a Nascar out onto the ice!! WooHoo!! We will be playing Lubbock and I am singing the National Anthem. Ahh the memories of my Cotton King singing days! Now I root for the best team the Amarillo Gorillas!!!!! Tonight should be an exciting event!!!

2006-02-04T11:14:00.000-06:00

Here are more pics of my wonderful friends on a trip to the mountains. To the left is Mary Margaret and I and to the right is Leslie and I. Aren' we just the cutest things? I love my friends!!!

2006-02-03T17:28:00.000-06:00

Here is a fabulous pic of a trip from last October (it is old, but I loved that trip and these pics)